The Hot Tin Roof

Men Are Idiots

2007-01-27T10:01:00.000-05:00

There are a few lessons that men never seem to learn. Maybe a seminar in Chick Flicks could help with that.

The lesson from Dangerous Liaisons? Never, and I mean never, tell a woman that has loved you that you have now found love, the greatest love you have ever known, you've never felt such joy, such contentment, such passion. She will seriously fuck you up.

It doesn't matter that your relationship was in the past. It doesn't matter that you're now friends. You've been rude, insulting, dismissive, and cruel and you probably don't even realize it.

All women, on some level, expect their lovers to live out their lives singing the melancholy strains of 'He Stopped Loving Her Today'

We go on and have good lives; you miss us horribly forever. Those are the rules.

The Work Ethics Assignment

2006-11-23T18:37:00.000-05:00

I'm supposed to discuss communication, cooperation, productivity, and teamwork to complete my work ethics assignment.

This is not a discussion anyone wants to have with a woman who cooked a Thanksgiving meal and after waiting over six hours and asking her adult son to do the dishes from the meal she spent hours preparing several times (always met with 'I'm going to') washed the dishes herself because she just couldn't tolerate the mess anymore.

Communication, cooperation, productivity, and teamwork?

We All Eat, We All Drink

2006-11-13T06:53:00.000-05:00

But we don't all clean.

I realize I'm coming to this late. I'm not dealing with anything millions of women haven't been dealing with for years. But it is enraging when three people live in a house, they all make messes, they all work, and only one cleans.

I'm not talking one adult and two children. This is three grown people and, if you assign the responsibility for making the messes, the one doing the cleaning is the one making the least of them (probably because they actually realize the fucking housekeeping fairies aren't going to be showing up to handle that for her).

And then the husband who hasn't gotten around to accomplishing a household chore in, oh...years...has the gall to tell me I shouldn't complain because we all eat, we all drink, we all wear clothes. This as I'm looking at the kitty litter box where the adult son dumped out the loose litter, left the mass of clumped, urine soaked litter, and didn't put any clean litter in.

And they aren't my cats! I don't even like cats. They each have a cat and I feed them, clean their litter, go get their medicines, buy their food, wash their dinner bowls, and get attitude if I don't fill their waterer up quickly enough to suit Brick....

...break in writing caused by having to go clean up the latest mess made when Brick's cat pulled over another untended glass of water that Brick left out...guess one dead laptop wasn't enough of a bodycount.....

This was all acceptable when I didn't work. Dealing with all this bullshit was my job. I had hours alone to do the routine maintenence that a household requires. I'm working part time and going to school full time and I don't have the time anymore. I'm adjusting all over the place and no one else has adjusted at all.

And Brick is mad at me. How dare I be in a bad mood! How dare I not want to have sex when he suddenly decided he wanted sex for the first time in months!

I am torn between overwhelming rage and the pull of overwhelming depression. The rage won't fix anything. I have begged Zack for the last six weekends to do better and I'm still getting litterboxes ull of clumped urine.

Don't Speak

2006-11-12T08:22:00.000-05:00

There are times Mothers and daughters don't/shouldn't speak. This is one of those times.

What does a mother say when her daughter calls and tells her she's done something the mother is sure is a terrible mistake? Nothing.

I'm going to avoid her till I can be around her without asking 'What in the hell were you thinking?" Until then I don't need to see her. I love her too much to do that kind of damage. The distance will cause damage but not nearly as much as speaking would.

Insert Picture of Woman Screaming

2006-10-28T18:30:00.000-04:00

I'd show a really great picture of a woman screaming but the one remaining working computer won't let me move pictures around so I can put them on this darn thing.

I've lost my laptop that I usually work on because, even though it was in plain sight on the coffee table, Brick left a Big Gulp sized glass of water out untended even though he knew the laptop was there and he knew the puppy and kitten use the coffee table as a playing field. Not only did all the water get spilled but no one knows when it happened. All I know is I came home from school and found it sitting in a pool. Amazingly, it died.
I lost my Economics paper, I lost the ability to use the computer in the privacy of my own room, I lost the ability to write in private.

Which is why I was positively giddy when I was told that Brick would be working and Zach was going out Saturday night.

Perfect!! I had to rewrite the paper (and I can't write when people come in and interupt me every few minutes), and I had tests and assignments in two other classes that had to be done by Monday. I arranged my whole schedule around the belief that I would be alone from 3:30 Saturday afternoon till midnight.

It's 6:30 and I'm not alone.

After doing everything but begging Zack to get out for the last three hours I've been put in the position of being a total bitch if I expect him to keep the commitment he made to me days ago. The committment I relied on.

What was I thinking?!

Tourist Traps vs. Speed Traps

2006-10-24T03:06:00.000-04:00

Speed traps are clearly labeled "Speed Limit 45". Tourists traps have big, flashing signs out front that says 'Rooms $27.99!" and you find out, after standing in line, that it's really $100 for a standard room. I would have left but Brick would have paid anything to stop driving.

The kicker was when I asked about wifi, it did say it was a 'Convention Center' and got a puzzled look and a 'What is this WiFi of which you speak?'

Suppertime!

2006-10-24T02:57:00.000-04:00

It was even worth the one hour and forty-five minute wait.

It wasn't because the Old MIll House in Pigeon Forge is inefficiently run. It was probably the most efficient place I've ever eaten. The food is plentiful, reasonably priced, good, and, except for entrees, everyone eats the same thing.

You start off with a corn chowder, fritters, and a house salad. You do get to choose your salad dressing but that's no problem because they all come in little ramekins on the side. When your entree comes it's on one plate and the green beans, mashed potatoes, and yeast rolls are served family style. Dessert is one of three choices and ours came preloaded in containers marked 'P' for 'Pie'.

Eating in Three Counties

2006-10-24T02:39:00.000-04:00

Louise's Famous Rock Restaraunt was an oasis in the midst of tourist traps and long lines.

It sits in three counties just off of the Blue Ridge Parkway and after our previous stop at an Apple Orchard that charged $14.95 for a $5 jar of honey and served 'Fried Apple Pies' that were pie filling in between Hungry Jack biscuits, it was a blessing.

I had a homemade pimento cheese sandwich and a potato chowder that made it to my Top Ten Soup list and Brick had a Reuben that looked delicious (he wasn't sharing). The menu had a good variety of food, the waitresses were friendly, and the tea was great.

The rest of the day was filled with long lines and deciding we didn't want to see places like Linville Caverns that bad. We'd rather go back in February when there are a lot less people. The possibility of ice and snow sounds better than waiting through a five mile line to get onto Grandfather Mountain.

After battling traffic for a few hours Hwy 321 was a great find, mainly because no one else seems to have found it. We crossed into Tennessee curving through tree covered hills and around lakes. The only drawback was there aren't a lot of places to stop between Boone and Johnson City so make any head calls before you start

And Then...

2006-10-24T02:31:00.000-04:00

...we rose about the fog.

It was amazing. We looked down into the valley and saw a sea of clouds. I'd call it a lake but it was roiling like waves. Rising, falling, swirling.

Above The Clouds

2006-10-24T02:24:00.000-04:00

We started the day in a fog. The Blue Ridge Parkway is peaceful and quiet in a fog. We drove down the two-lane road and saw the brilliantly colored trees bending over us but everything else was removed.

It was early and no one else was visible. It was like we had the Parkway to ourselves.

Getting Away From It All

2006-10-24T02:04:00.000-04:00

Brick and I wanted to get away from it all. Unfortunately everyone else had the same idea. Which is how I found myself in a traffic jam with a faint cell signal, calling motels out of a coupon book that promised reasonable prices only to hear 'Oh that $50 price is now $275 for a standard room'. Which is how we ended up at the Apple Blossom Motel.

The owner was shocked that we were married to each other. The instructions on the back of the door told us to leave the key on the dresser. It was built sometime in the 40s and the electrical outlets didn't have ground plugs much less wifi. But it was quiet, clean, reasonably priced, and had a great fish camp in walking distance.

We feasted on perfectly prepared flounder and baby shrimp and Brick also had stuffed clams and oysters then walked back to our room.

The Departed

2006-10-16T19:45:00.000-04:00

Wow! Just Wow.

Better than The Aviator and Gangs of New York. Not as good as Goodfellas (will anything ever be?)

Damon was good. Leonardo is not a favorite but he was good and Marky Mark was, well I may have to stop calling him Marky Mark.

Jack played Jack.

You're Kidding, Right?

2006-10-16T19:34:00.000-04:00

It comes as a true shock that the superstars (Brad and Angelina) were even allowed back to Pune to continue filming the upcoming movie "A Mighty Heart," after the incredible amount of chaos the pair has caused there recently: from TMZ

They caused chaos? Two people take their child for a touristy ride in a new city they're visiting. How shocking! Horrible!! How dare they?!!

How about putting the responsibility where it really lies? With the flaming assholes who swarmed all over them like rats on fresh meat, swooping in on motorcycles, cameras extended, getting the money shot and to hell with the child and anyone else on the road. That is who is causing the chaos and that's who the Indian government needs to be restricting.

Too Much

2006-10-14T23:45:00.000-04:00

There's too much going on to write. Too much school, too much job search, too much Zach.

Last Week's PostSecret

2006-10-08T18:40:00.000-04:00

Much as I tell myself that quirkiness makes life interesting, even I ain't buying it.

Too Much TV

2006-09-27T09:10:00.000-04:00

I read a column this morning where the end of civilization was announced because we own too many televisions. We have gone from a nation where the family gathered around the TV in the evening to view a couple of programs to a society where every room is wired into the outside world with monitors in not only the family room but bedrooms, kitchens, and (in my fondest dreams) bathrooms. There are now more TVs in houses than people.

That's certainly true in my house. We have three people. We have five TVs. And that's not including the computers that can be used as TVs. And at least one is on at all times.

Why is that ok? Mainly because we're not really watching. I'm the only one home right now and there are two TVs playing. One is on in the den because Brick never turns it off. I have one on in the bedroom and, other than hearing Regis and Kelly banter in the background, I'm paying it no attention at all. It's noise, not something that requires active participation.

I remember the old days of gathering around the family set. Back then you actually watched the TV. You sat down and watched a program from beginning to end.

There are very few things I do that with. Usually is just noise. I'll look up and pay attention to the bits that interest me.

Of course, I do think of Winston Smith occasionally. Always wired, what's going out when it's all coming in?

Wag The Finger

2006-09-27T08:59:00.000-04:00

Wag the finger
By Kathleen Parker
Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Did you just see what I just saw? That old comedy line has new meaning in the context of Bill Clinton's now-famous interview with Chris Wallace.

The answer is quintessentially Clintonian: It depends. In this case, what one saw depends on where one sits on the political fence.

Republicans saw a guilty, purple-faced ex-president desperately trying to deflect attention from his administration's failings. Democrats saw an overdue smack down of a partisan hack by a brilliant statesmen fed up with slanderous disinformation.

So who's right? Perhaps both by degrees.

Clinton was clearly angry when Wallace asked him why he hadn't connected the dots before 9/1l and done more to eliminate Osama bin Laden.

In response, Clinton leaned into Wallace's space, wagged his finger, poked Wallace's notepad and went off on a "tear," as Wallace later put it.

Clinton said that he did more than "some" to try to get bin Laden and urged everyone to read Richard Clarke's book, "Against All Enemies," for confirmation of the Clinton version of history. Clarke, a Republican, was a counterterrorism official for three presidents, including Clinton and George W. Bush.

Toss out an assertion like that in today's political environment and the blogosphere will shift into hyper-warp speed. Within hours, several reputable bloggers had dissected Clinton's claims as inaccurate (if true-ish), and the Republican National Committee had issued a point-by-point refutation with names, dates and sources.

Whatever Clinton did or didn't do as president, it's interesting to ponder what he's doing now.

Why would he lash out at the amiable and (BEG ITAL)un(END ITAL)-partisan Wallace? Was it a strategic strike, as Democrats claim? Or did Clinton show more of his legendary temper than he intended?

As I've written before, Clinton has a right to be angry about distortions of his record as recently portrayed in the ABC docudrama "The Path to 9/11." There's no benefit to massaging the historical record for dramatic effect. Clinton's response to Wallace clearly was prompted in part by that recent episode of partly fictionalized history.

But Clinton's demeanor with Wallace betrayed something more than mere annoyance. His face assumed what the Irish called a ``warp-spasm,'' a transformative anger that revealed a repressed rage and the kind of sneer that gets schoolboys punched in the nose.

Before answering the question, Clinton attacked Wallace's journalistic credibility, saying: "You did Fox's bidding," and calling it a "nice little conservative hit job."

"You've got that little smirk on your face," Clinton said, "and you think you're so clever."
Clinton's hostility was surprising because it was so disproportionate to the query. Obviously, al-Qaeda and bin Laden were forces to be reckoned with during the Clinton administration. Why we didn't dispatch him before 9/11 seems a reasonable question. That said, Clarke is highly critical in his book of the Bush administration's failure to take al-Qaeda seriously.

There's nothing wrong with getting angry if you're right, as Chris Matthews put it. But when Clinton went after Wallace, he inadvertently allowed his mask to slip. America got a glimpse not just of a former president who feels mischaracterized, but of a man filled with contempt for the lesser mortals who would seek to undo him.

His inner Gollum was visible beneath a roiling rage.

Clinton, we are constantly told, is immensely charming and charismatic. Narcissists usually are. Their social and political success is owing to their ability to project what people want to see. Friends and foe agree that few are better at this than Clinton.

But narcissists also become enraged when things don't go their way, when the attention they covet is diverted. Experience tells us, too, that manipulators are always contemptuous of those they manipulate.

To be fair, Clinton deserves much credit for raising billions to fund his charitable work in the world's dirtiest trenches, from tsunami reconstruction to the fight against AIDS.

Understandably, he wanted to talk about those issues, which comprise the legacy he is working so hard to create. His "precious," as Gollum would put it.

But his legacy also includes an iconic gesture -- the wagging finger. Clinton's marmish scolding of Wallace was a telling moment, much like another time he wagged his finger on television.
He did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. And he did not fail to connect the dots concerning that man, Mr. bin Laden.

PostSecret of the Week

2006-09-25T09:52:00.000-04:00

If we knew how much we were going to miss people when they were gone would we let them go? Wouldn't we give more of ourselves, love more, care more, cherish more?

Inertia

2006-09-25T09:47:00.000-04:00

There are so many things I have to do and I'm so freaked out about them that I just stay in place, putting it off as long as possible, hoping that a miracle or fatal heart attack will make it all unecessary.

Brick is a saint.

Loved One Alert!

2006-09-25T09:39:00.000-04:00

Someone please feed her

No Big Gay Al?

2006-09-25T09:33:00.000-04:00

Being of the SNL generation when things happen during the summer I still think 'I can't wait to see what SNL does with this when they come back in the fall'. This summer I was looking forward to the skit of Star and Al Reynolds post-View, post-Payless.

Guess I won't be seeing that one.

The Best Choice

2006-09-25T09:31:00.000-04:00

I don't care what the 'real' relationship is: NY and Flav are good TV. If he picks her I'm so in for the series on their life together. He picks someone else he's a bigger idiot than he appears to be.

Bringing Sexy Back

2006-09-18T08:54:00.000-04:00

I'm Switching Back

2006-09-18T08:47:00.000-04:00

I stopped watching the Today show awhile back. It seemed to have a political agenda that was too much to deal with that early in the morning. Good Morning America seemed to be the best alternative but the corporate tie-ins were almost as irritating.

So this morning I check out the Today show and it was fun and informative again. I switched to GMA and they were plugging a Disney magazine.

I'm going to stick with the Today show for awhile.

Us? Violent?!

2006-09-18T08:40:00.000-04:00

So the Pope discusses some obscure 14th century writings in a dry, scholarly speech. In the writings the religion of Islam is referred to as violent. Muslims get offended, riot, firebomb a couple of churches, and kill a nun by shooting her in the back three times. Whyever would anyone consider Muslims violent?

The reaction in the Muslim world is so out of porportion to any real or assumed offense that how can it be viewed as anything but violent?

Man of the Year

2006-09-18T07:57:00.000-04:00

Bart has always been a good husband, father, son, brother, friend, neighbor and employer and we love him.

Until he killed his wife and left her body for their young children to find.

The above quote is from a Friends of Bart Corbin website. Amazing but it hasn't been updated since he confessed to murdering his wife and his college girlfriend.

The situation raises three questions for me: what do you do when someone you love does the unthinkable, what kind of parent kills a child's mother and leaves her for the child to find, and if you get away with murder once what makes you think you can do it twice?

5 Mile High Club

2006-09-18T07:56:00.000-04:00

Get Your Motor Running

2006-09-12T23:58:00.000-04:00

So your husband of thirty-five years points out a motorcycle and says "I want to get that"

Your husband of thirty-five years that's never ridden a motorcycle.

What were you thinking to say "You can't have that. We have to renovate the kitchen!" This is not what you say to a husband who has always put everyone else first, has an eight year old cell phone, a ten year old car, and the last kid is grown. Let him spend some money on himself for once.

But could you ask him nicely to not spend it on something that will get his butt killed?

Desperation forced a horrific decision

2006-09-11T09:08:00.000-04:00

Desperation forced a horrific decision
By Dennis Cauchon and Martha Moore,
USA TODAY

At first, it seemed like debris. Large objects were falling from the top of the World Trade Center's north tower, just a few minutes after American Airlines Flight 11 hit.
The sight of people plunging from the north tower compelled hundreds in the south tower to flee before the second jet struck the building.

"It took three or four to realize: They were people," says James Logozzo, who had gathered with co-workers in a Morgan Stanley boardroom on the 72nd floor of the south tower, just 120 feet away from the north tower. "Then this one woman fell."

She fell closer to the south tower, he recalls. Logozzo saw her face. She had dark hair and olive skin, a white blouse and black skirt. She fell with her back to the ground, flat, staring up.

"The look on her face was shock. She wasn't screaming. It was slow motion. When she hit, there was nothing left," Logozzo says.

Logozzo cried, "Oh my God!" and raced for the stairs. When he got to the street 45 minutes later, he looked up. By then, his building had been struck by United Airlines Flight 175. From the ground, he saw two more people jump. This time, they were from his building.

The story of the victims who jumped to their deaths is the most sensitive aspect of the Sept. 11 tragedy. Photographs of people falling to their deaths shocked the nation. Most newspapers and magazines ran only one or two photos, then published no more. USA TODAY ran one photo Nov. 16.

Still, the images resonate. Many who survived or witnessed the attack say the sight of victims jumping is their most haunting memory of that day.

It was worse than people realize.

USA TODAY estimates that at least 200 people jumped to their deaths that morning, far more than can be seen in the photographs taken that morning. Nearly all were from the north tower, which was hit first and collapsed last. Fewer than a dozen were from the south tower.

The jumping started shortly after the first jet hit at 8:46 a.m. People jumped continuously during the 102 minutes that the north tower stood. Two people jumped as the north tower began to fall at 10:28 a.m., witnesses said.

For those who jumped, the fall lasted 10 seconds. They struck the ground at just less than 150 miles per hour — not fast enough to cause unconsciousness while falling, but fast enough to ensure instant death on impact. People jumped from all four sides of the north tower. They jumped alone, in pairs and in groups.

Most came from the north tower's 101st to 105th floors, where the Cantor Fitzgerald bond firm had offices, and the 106th and 107th floors, where a conference was underway at the Windows on the World restaurant. Others leaped from the 93rd through 100th floor offices of Marsh & McLennan insurance company.

Intense smoke and heat, rather than flames, pushed people into this horrific choice. Flight 11 struck the 94th through 98th floors of the north tower, shooting heat and smoke up elevator shafts and stairways in the center of the building. Within minutes, it would have been very difficult to breathe. That drove people to the windows 1,100 to 1,300 feet above ground.

There were several reasons more people jumped from the north tower than from the south. The fire was more intense and compact in the north tower. The jet hit higher, so smoke was concentrated in 15 floors compared with 30 floors in the south tower, which was hit on the 78th through 84th floors. The north tower also stood longer: 102 minutes vs. 56 minutes. And twice as many people were trapped on the north tower's upper floors than in the south tower, where occupants had 161/2 minutes to evacuate before the second jet hit.

The New York medical examiner's office says it does not classify the people who fell to their deaths on Sept. 11 as "jumpers."

"A 'jumper' is somebody who goes to the office in the morning knowing that they will commit suicide," says Ellen Borakove, spokeswoman for the medical examiner's office. "These people were forced out by the smoke and flames or blown out."

She says the medical examiner's office couldn't determine who jumped because the injuries were similar to those suffered by the people killed in the collapse of the towers. The manner of death for all those who died was listed as homicide on death certificates.

To make its estimate of the number of people who plunged from the Trade Center, USA TODAY reviewed videos and photographs, interviewed witnesses and analyzed the time and location of the jumping. The newspaper discussed its conclusion with officials in the fire department and medical examiner's office who, while not making calculations of their own, deemed an estimate of 200 jumpers as accurate.

The New York Times counted 50 different jumpers in a review of photographs and videotapes. USA TODAY's estimate attempts to include people whose falls were not documented. Nearly all photos were of the north tower's north and east faces, which were more accessible to photographers coming from uptown Manhattan. But witnesses reported that numerous people leapt from the north tower's south and west sides as well.

On the south side, firefighters reported 30 to 40 bodies on the roof of the 22-floor Marriott Hotel, adjacent to the north tower.

On the west side, falling bodies crashed onto the awning covering the circular VIP driveway. The thudding of bodies at this entrance can be heard on a video taken near there by French cameraman Jules Naudet, whose footage was broadcast on CBS on March 11.

On the east side, people plummeted into the plaza, best known for its globe sculpture. Blood covered the glass walls and revolving doors that led to the plaza from the second-floor mezzanine in the north tower. People evacuating the north tower walked by this horrible sight.

"The windows were red ... and bits of bodies were outside. We were stunned and amazed," says Richard Moller, who escaped from the 78th floor.

After the first jet crash, Port Authority police Officer David Lim took an escalator from the lobby of the north tower to the plaza level, one floor above. He saw a disfigured body near a stage where musical groups performed on the plaza. "I said, oh my God! I've got to call this in. 'I've got a DOA on the plaza.' The desk officer said, 'Are you sure he's dead?' As I'm retransmitting, another body falls."

To be sure, some who fell didn't jump. Witnesses say a few people seemed to have stumbled out of broken windows obscured by smoke. But most say those jumping appeared to make a conscious choice to die by falling rather than from smoke, heat or fire.

Ultimately, they were choosing not whether to die but how to die. Nobody survived on the floors from which people jumped.

Victims who jumped had a profound influence on the evacuation. Firefighters moved their command post away from the building to avoid them. A falling body killed a firefighter. Fire Commissioner Thomas Van Essen, rushing out of the north tower to meet Mayor Rudy Giuliani, was nearly killed when a body landed 15 feet away.

To safeguard people from falling bodies and debris, authorities blocked the main exits from the lobbies to the street. Instead, people escaping from both towers were sent through an underground shopping mall and under the outdoor plaza where bodies were falling.

The sight of people jumping saved lives, too. In the south tower, people had a close-up view of people plunging to their deaths from a building that was a mirror image of their own. "I looked at a couple of people jumping, and that was it. I'd seen enough. I said, 'We've got to get the hell out of here,' " says Jaede Barg, who worked for Aon on the south tower's 100th floor.

Many south tower survivors say the sight of people jumping created an urgency that caused them to leave immediately and ignore announcements that it was safe to return to their desks. About 1,400 people evacuated the upper floors before the second jet hit.

Eric Thompson, who worked on the 77th floor of the south tower, went to a conference room window after the first jet hit. He was shocked when a man came to a north tower window and leapt from a few floors above the fire. Thompson looked the man in the face. He saw his tie flapping in the wind. He watched the man's body strike the pavement below. "There was no human resemblance whatsoever," Thompson says.

PostSecret of the Week

2006-09-10T12:48:00.000-04:00

Porn can be fun. It's the addiction that destroys relationships.

There are only so many nights a woman can spend in bed alone while her man is up with the computer before the relationship starts to wither

CuteOverload of the Day

2006-09-10T12:42:00.000-04:00

Pretty is as Pretty Does

2006-09-08T10:39:00.000-04:00

An acquaintance was married awhile back. It's not someone I like. It's someone I have no respect for. But I was still bothered when someone tracked down their wedding announcement and photo this week and posted it on the Internet for all to see and then mocked the bride and groom unmercifully.

What did the picture look like? It looked like a radiantly happy couple. The groom, who I hadn't seen before, was very handsome. I used to think the bride was pretty but I was raised that pretty is as pretty does and knowing what an ugly person she is inside makes it hard for me to see her clearly. Trying to be as unbiased as I can, she's not unattractive. No one who appears that happy is. If she were someone I liked I'd think she looked beautiful in her wedding photo.

So part of me wants to mount up and tilt at the windmill of how unacceptable it is to go off of a message board, track someone down in their private life, post personal information, and make cruel comments about peoples' appearance, weight, family members, and private lives.

Part of me knows that the target this time is one of the worst offenders of this sort of behavior and has done every single one of those things to other people and will do it again.

Karma? Who knows but I ain't saddling up the charger for this one. Not my problem. If anyone asks, I'll be honest about how I don't like that sort of thing no matter who does it, no matter who the target is but I'm not volunteering my opinion.

Democrat 2008

2006-09-08T10:34:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting around before class starts yesterday and a rousing discussion starts about the 08 election and one of my favorite people says "I'm voting Democrat even if it's Hillary"

No one else was willing to go that far but the mood in the room was definitely pro-Democrat which is astonishing for Georgia. If the DNC just picks a decent candidate and runs a campaign well they can win the south back. People are ready for a change and they are ready to move away from the war and social conservatism.

Now if the Democrats can just manage to not snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Bullshit!

2006-09-08T10:30:00.000-04:00

So I'm reading in my Psych textbook and there's a little graphic about human sexuality and one of the things covered is infidelity.

15.1% of men and 2.7% of women have been unfaithful.

Bull. Shit.

There have been a lot of studies of over the years and I have never seen numbers that low. Did they ask the questions of respondents sitting in a room with their spouses, their parents and their spiritual advisors? Their attorneys maybe?

Back Off Already

2006-09-08T10:24:00.000-04:00

Do papparazzi ever have trouble sleeping nights? Back off of these kids and give them some small zone of privacy to live their lives without every moment of pain or joy invaded. Ok, so maybe I'm contributing by putting this picture here but no one is reading this but me.

My kids are around the same age and I can't even imagine them being followed by the horde of jackals with telephoto lenses shooting up their skirts. Give these guys a break or when the inevitable breakdown comes, accept your share of the responsibility.

Oh Good Lord, No!!!

2006-09-08T10:20:00.000-04:00

So the gorgeous John Travolta of Saturday Night Fever and Urban Cowboy was long gone. People age. I can accept that. But this?!

It's called ACTing!

2006-09-06T23:34:00.000-04:00

Re-Feathering My Nest

2006-09-02T21:07:00.000-04:00

Zach got out of the military and moved back into his old room. We're going through a period of adjustment.

I love my kids I really do but I've come to appreciate them living about 40 miles from home, in their own place, and seeing them for lunch and a family dinner once a week with phone calls, IMs, and an excursion once or twice a month.

I like naked housecleaning and sex in the living room and privacy.

The good thing about him being back, along with the pleasure of his company, is that I'm cooking every day. I like cooking. It relaxes me at the end of a hard day and it really is cheaper, better, and healthier than anything you can get out in town.

Pageant Girls

2006-09-02T20:26:00.000-04:00

Watching Little Miss Sunshine the second time (Zach wanted to see it) I realized that the obscenely displayed girls in the Little Miss Sunshine contest were real Pageant Girls. I'd seen those overly made up faces before!

Which raises the question: what were their mothers thinking?

Ok, so that's assuming their mothers can think and since they are pageant girls that's already a big stretch. But did they realize what the movie was about? Either they thought it was going to be a complimentary portrait of the pageant world, they weren't paying attention, or they were so consumed with getting exposure for their daughters (and the reflected glory for themselves) that they just didn't give much of a damn.

I've occasionally wondered what pageant girls grow up to be. It's like sexual abuse in more than one way. Some will grow up and repudiate their mothers, the abusers, and others will grow up to repeat the pattern, to think that this is acceptable. These girls will have a harder time escaping their pasts (if they so choose) because this is going to live on DVD forever.

Now part of me wants to excuse some of it away. To say 'Oh well all pageants don't reach the bleaching, teasing, hairspraying, body make upping pinacle that was portrayed in the movie. Some Moms just think it's a way to spend time as a family and teach their little girls poise in public.' but isn't that like saying some sexual abuse is ok because it was just fondling, and the abuser thought the child enjoyed it, and it's not like there was penetration or he got her pregnant or anything?

Flat Daddy

2006-09-02T20:15:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure if this is a good thing for children or sad on too many levels to think about.

First, there are some military fathers that are a lot safer two-dimensional.

Second, though it helps to keep a father present in a child's mind, especially a young child's, a Flat Daddy isn't really helpful when it's time for hugs, kisses, and advice.

Third, wives are carrying these things around too which, when combined with BOBs is just too weird to think about.

And finally, what happens if 3D Daddy comes home and his family likes the other version better?

Stealth Doberman

2006-09-02T20:14:00.000-04:00

cute...but can the costumes do anything about a pit bull's jaw strength?

Cute Overload of the Day

2006-09-02T16:25:00.000-04:00

Foodie Heaven

2006-09-02T16:06:00.000-04:00

The Dekalb Farmers Market is the most wonderful food shopping experience I've ever had. And it's going to provide some of the best eating experiences I've ever had for the next week.

I was impressed when I first saw a Whole Foods but now? Hah! Whole Foods was a little too Yuppie and way overpriced. The Dekalb Farmers Market has something for everyone and it's dirt cheap.

I saw things in that store yesterday that I never saw before: fava beans, lemongrass, varieties of fruits and vegetables for everyone. It not only had exotic stuff but food to make a southerner's taste buds drown. There were Tennessee tomatoes, Carolina half-runner beans, big thick yellow squash for frying, and potatoes so fresh the dirt was still damp. There was fresh produce being restocked all over the section (which takes up half of the warehouse size store). My buggy was half filled before I ever got out of Produce.

Once I had bagged enough produce to keep a vegan happy for a week, Zach and I moved to the other departments. There was a bakery section with organic pastries and breads, a dairy section with growth hormone free milk and free range eggs, a deli with meats and cheeses and salads to go, a meat section with things I could have done without seeing but I'm sure it made somebody happy (Lamb Kidneys?!), and a seafood section that was stunning. There was live fish swimming and you pick your fish and they'll scoop it out and clean it for you to take home. It doesn't get any fresher than that.

And the cost? The live fish cost about the same as frozen stuff at the local market. The produce was four times fresher at half the price. The Deli was reasonable. I haven't priced Lamb Kidneys so I couldn't tell you if they were priced well or not and we never did make it to the staples section (next trip!)

Almost better than the delicious food (ok, nothing comes close to that...) was the people. There were people from every culture that lives in the Atlanta area and everyone was incredibly friendly. Since we didn't all speak the same language we just smiled and nodded a lot.

Now how do I break it to Brick that we're going grocery shopping in Atlanta at least once a month?

The Evil Polygamists are Coming!!

2006-08-30T09:10:00.000-04:00

I don't approve of the kind of polygamy practiced by fundamentalist religious sects. I think polygamy should be a way to empower women, not subjugate them. Strength in numbers or that it's the women who have two husbands. Whichever way it works out, as long as everyone involved is an adult and consenting, what's so horrible about it?

I've watched as society has spent the last couple of decades promoting single parenthood. It doesn't work. One parent will never be able to provide all a child needs. The reality is that they're usually so exhausted from working to provide the necessities that there's no time left for things like...time. Time to read, talk, time for fellowship.

Is it for everyone? No. But the insistence of evil is a sign of fear from the people who claim monogamy is the one true way.

Forgotten

2006-08-30T09:02:00.000-04:00

Merv forgot my birthday. I'd retaliate but he'd enjoy it too much.

Vacation

2006-08-30T08:58:00.000-04:00

I need a break.

First choice? Hot sex, romance, a warm beach, and sensual decadence. But that ain't happening so I'll take companionship, car trip, mountains, good food and music.

Hmmmm

2006-08-30T08:53:00.000-04:00

If they really are a couple I wonder if he can talk her into cutting Ryder's hair?

No Way

2006-08-30T08:52:00.000-04:00

I don't care if studio technicians have managed to tweak her 'voice' into the pop album of the decade, I ain't buying it.

So...

2006-08-30T00:42:00.000-04:00

you want to see your grandkids? I can tell you how you can do that.

Stop talking to the press. Refuse to comment on your daughter, her private life, or her children in any way, shape, or form to reporters.

Write your daughter a letter and sincerely apologize for all the dumb shit you have done and promise you won't do it again. Spell the children's names correctly in the letter.

Keep your mouth shut publicly for 6 months, minimum.

Or you could just keep talking.

Depends on whether you want your family or face time on Entertainment Tonight.

This Week's PostSecret

2006-08-30T00:32:00.000-04:00

Death Ray Glares

2006-08-30T00:24:00.000-04:00

It's so much fun to speak to an audience that hates every point you're making.

Shut Up Jimmy

2006-08-30T00:09:00.000-04:00

Compliant and subservient: Jimmy Carter's explosive critique of Tony Blair

After a few years of being America's greatest ex-President, Jimmy Carter has gone off the rails. His public appearances get more embarassing as he gets older, more embittered, and becomes more of a Southern Baptist Scold.

Erased

2006-08-30T00:03:00.000-04:00

At the Emmy tribute to Aaron Spelling they showed Aaron in pictures with the casts of some of his most famous shows. When they got to the one for Beverly Hills 90210 his daughter Tori was left out of the picture.

Mama Spelling is one cold pissed off bitch

Disengaged

2006-08-18T22:17:00.000-04:00

Disengaged

Engaged

Had a chat with a friend about whether he was disengaged from his relationship. He felt he was engaged. I thought he hadn't been for a long time.

"Whyever would you say I'm not engaged in my marriage?"

"Well, maybe 'engaged' means different things to men and women but to me, the day you wake up and you're truly engaged in your relationship, you call your girlfriend and tell her you can't have any contact with her anymore."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Okaaay.

Just to clear up the meaning of the term...to this woman anyway....engaged means that your partner is your primary focus. If you have desires, you tell them. If you have dreams, you tell them. If you have secrets, that's the person you share them with. Not someone else.

Paying the bills, mowing the yard, and showing up on time for supper is not a relationship. It's business.

Can women, especially wives, adjust to being in a business relationship with their spouses? Of course. But don't tell yourself you're the love of their life. Don't lie to yourself that you're there for them straight down the line. And don't even imagine they much care as they nod and smile and pretend to listen as you tell them about your day.

Fetish 101

2006-08-18T07:14:00.000-04:00

Why are fetishes so exciting? Because they are so hard to fulfill.

Sex is easy these days. It takes little effort for someone to have intercourse with you. Finding a woman that is willing to walk on you in 5 inch stilettos? Not so easy.

First, if you tell a woman you care about that you want them to trample you beneath spike heels, you’re risking serious rejection. “You want me to what? What kind of sick, evil, degenerate are you?”

Look at the case of poor Jack Ryan. He had an out of the ordinary desire. Did he do what 80% of married men do? (Tell some woman that is not their wife) No, he stepped up, was honest, bared his soul, took his wife to a sex club, and told her what he wanted, what he really, really wanted. (Why are the Spice Girls stuck in my head?)

Was poor Jack rewarded for his honesty? Did his wife say ‘Aww Babe, thanks for being honest. What makes you happy makes me happy!’

Nope. Jack ended up divorced and publicly disgraced, his political career in tatters and some stranger in Georgia writing about his sex life years later. That’s what Jack Ryan got for being honest.

So, gorgeous TV star wife will have sex with you any time. Fulfill your deepest desires? Probably not. Which makes them harder to fulfill, which makes them more important, which makes them more arousing, and more gratifying to finally get

The Puzzle Box of Broken Toys

2006-08-18T07:08:00.000-04:00

I have a dog that loves to kill toys. Jack Russells are like that. He takes such joy in toy destruction and is so efficient at it that we started a game at our house: How long does the squeaky have to live? The rules of the game: make note of the time as you walk in the door because the dog will be grabbing the toy out of the bag. Hiding the toy is a non-PetSmart bag does no good. He still knows. Make note of when the toy has been destroyed. He’s managed to kill toys in less than a minute.

Until the soccer ball. The soccer ball kept him busy for months. It was almost as big as he was and he’d roll it around the house, paw it, lick it, gnaw at it, roll it into corners and go at it. Finally, he loosened one of the segments enough to get his teeth in to core of the ball and popped it. He was triumphant and carried the popped ball shell around for days as his trophy.

Awhile later it was time to buy him a new toy. Why let’s get him another soccer ball! The last one gave him months of enjoyment.

Brought home the new soccer ball. He pawed it out of the shopping bag, rolled it into a corner, placed his mouth on the spot that had finally proven the downfall of Soccer Ball number 1, and had it popped within minutes. He then pranced off leaving the vanquished and unworthy shell behind.

2006-08-18T07:06:00.000-04:00

How can a family have four children, three are wonderful and one is a demon child? Are babies just born bad?

Maybe they’re born sensitive but I have a hard time believing babies are born bad. I think it’s more likely that the demon child became the family goat. It’s easier to blame one member of the family than to deal with everything that’s going on. And it’s a lot easier to appear ‘The Perfect Child’ to yourself and others when you have someone to compare yourself to that’s not as close to wonderful.

And the effect? The goat views himself as the cause of all problems and doomed to screw up no matter what. It’s not much better for the good child. What happens if they make a mistake? Is failure ever acceptable for the perfect child?

Does My Butt Look Big In This?

2006-08-18T06:51:00.000-04:00

It's the age old question. The one that sends men screaming in terror.

"Does this make my butt look big?"

There are wrong ways to handle this and right ones.

Wrong Way I: Refuse to Answer
Bad Move: It's a sign of trust when a woman asks you this question. It's also a test and a man who refuses to answer loses serious points. The more he whines about how it's an unfair question, the more points that come off of his list. The only reason he will ever have sex with that woman again is because they're already having sex. No woman asks that question of a man she's not already fucking. Unless he's gay.

Wrong Way II: "Your Butt's So Huge Nothing Is Going To Make It Look Good"
Nuclear Explosion Wrong: no need to elaborate

The right answers fall into two basic categories.

If they look ok: "You look great! I want you so bad I can't stand it"

If they really do look bad, they know that. Women are not idiots. This is definitely a test. Are you a coward, cruel, or convinced she's an idiot?

The correct answer is "You know, I like that other outfit a lot better"

No whining, not a lie, major points scored.

"My Wife's Money"

2006-08-18T06:37:00.000-04:00

According to Fametastic:
Kevin Federline has dismissed rumours that he’s got a limitless credit card in Britney’s name and that she gives him a monthly allowance, saying he doesn’t take any money from her.

He told GQ magazine: “I don’t get any money from my wife.”

“I’m almost broke. As a man, as a male figure and a father, I wouldn’t be happy sitting back and living off my wife’s fortune.”

“I have to provide for my family. People gotta understand that I’m working, too, she’s not the only one that’s got things to do.”

Kevin’s first album is due out in the autumn and he is set to perform at the Teen Choice Awards next week.

Because it's your money when you make it by selling your babies' pictures, stories about your wife to the tabloids, private items on EBay, and you get paid to attend parties because you're a national joke and the national joke that married your sorry ass might drop in (which is probably guarenteed in your rental agreement)

You know, it's appropriate that you're spending your money on hookers (allegedly!). Like seeking like and all that

BrickBlocks

2006-08-14T06:31:00.000-04:00

So Brick is taking some time off, no problem. Supposedly to do some things around the house. Ummm, what? After four days off he's managed to mow the yard. Meanwhile I've surveyed out two cases of books, a case of old software, and a case of old electronics. All I asked Brick to do was carry it all to the car and help me take it to Goodwill. Evidently that was asking too much of him because the stuff is still piled up over twenty-four hours later along with the overflowing trashcan that he can't be bothered to empty. And through all of this I've managed to research and write two papers, work on six class assignments, and a speech which is not easy when I'm surrounded by chaos.

Time?

2006-08-12T08:28:00.001-04:00

There's just no time. Between family obligations and school writing there's been no time for writing for me (or much of anything else). It doesn't help that a lot of the school writing is the same type of writing that would end up here.

If school has me this overloaded what is a 40 hour real world week going to be like? Since I'm putting in at least 20 hours a week on assignments not counting class time, it actually won't be that different.

Last Week's PostSecret

2006-08-12T08:28:00.000-04:00

Riding Herd on Turkeys

2006-08-06T09:53:00.000-04:00

So much for the write the paper in peace and solitude plan.

The paper isn't a regular paper. It's a roundup of sources used by everyone else.

Everyone else=those people who not told me what sources they're using.

Nip It!

2006-08-06T09:43:00.000-04:00

Nip Infidelity in the Bud
By Denise Mann
WebMD Feature Reviewed By Louise Chang, MD

Think cheating is something that can never happen to your relationship?Think again.Statistics from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy suggest that 15% of wives and 25% of husbands have had sex outside of their marriage. When emotional affairs or sexual intimacies without intercourse are included, the number jumps by 20%. {Numbers are way too low but other than that...}

But straying is not inevitable, no matter how many soap operas you watch, says Frances Cohen Praver, PhD, a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst in Locust Valley, N.Y., and the author of Daring Wives: Insight into Women's Desires for Extramarital Affairs.

"For the most part, people don't just go out and cheat. There are warnings," she tells WebMD. The good news is that knowing the common signs and addressing them head-on can save your relationship from infidelity.

Red Flag No. 1: Crying Out for Help"

The most common warning is when a partner tells you something is amiss and you don't believe it," Praver says. "He or she may say, 'This marriage isn't working,' or 'I am not happy.'

"Marriage Saving Solution: Taking the Bait"

This is akin to being hit over the head with a 2 X 4," Praver says. "If your partner is reaching out, take the bait," she says. "First open up a dialogue, and if you can't get anywhere, consider couples therapy."Red Flag No. 2: Sudden Change -- or Interest -- in Appearance.

Red Flag No. 2: Sudden Change -- or Interest -- in Appearance.

Is your husband talking about getting botox to eliminate his frown lines? Did your wife recently start coloring her hair and scrapping her jeans for a low-cut black dress? If so, this may indicate he or she is on the prowl, experts say.

Marriage Saving Solution: If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them

"This can make you bitter or better," says John Van Epp, PhD, a therapist in Medina, Ohio and author of the forthcoming How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk: the foolproof way to follow your heart without losing your mind."If they are going through changes and you are fairly certain no one else is involved, this is an opportunity," he says. "Join in and spice up your relationship."

Red Flag No. 3: Unconstructive Criticism

"If your partner says, 'You need to see a psychiatrist,' 'You need help,' 'Get a job,' 'Lose weight,' or 'Go to the gym,' and is constantly critical, it's all part of the same theme -- which is that there is something wrong with you," points out Elizabeth Landers of Gross Pointe, Mich., co-author of THE SCRIPT: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat."Unconsciously, they are setting it up to say their partner was nuts and wouldn't even go for help." Another tip-off is when he or she starts picking fights about something you are good at, so you fight back and then he or she calls you argumentative," she says. "These things happen 100% of the time."

Marriage Saving Solution: Listen and Learn

"If a man says 'I have grown and you haven't,' the natural reaction is that he is being critical and insulting. But talking about feelings is good," she says. "Encourage him to talk more because he will feel that you understand him," Landers says. Use a counterintuitive approach, she advises. "If a man says to his wife, 'Those two women are attractive', her natural reaction is to say, 'I don't want to hear it,' but encourage him so he will feel that he can talk to you about anything and that can keep him to words -- not action."

Red Flag No. 4: the Tony Soprano-Style Guilt Gift

On HBO's The Sopranos, mobster Tony Soprano often presents his doting wife with lavish jewels so she will look the other way about his extramarital activities. "Sometimes it's a guilty, look-the-other-way gift or a see-I-am-really-a-good guy-even-if-I-leave-you gift," Landers says. "It could be a diamond bracelet, a cashmere sweater, a new car. Or if you are former President Bill Clinton, it could be the state of New York," she says, referring to Clinton's now notorious philandering and his wife Hillary Clinton's ascension to New York's senator. "It may seem normal to think, 'He's obviously not cheating; he just gave me this gorgeous bracelet' -- but don't be fooled," she says.

Marriage Saving Solution: Nip It in the Bud

Don't turn the other cheek, she says. "It can be so frightful if it's true that it is difficult to accept [potential infidelity], but addressing it early, even with no concrete evidence, can help save the marriage," she says. "Speak up early because if you think something's wrong, it probably is," she says. "Trust your instincts. You will be much more likely to be successful in saving the relationship if you catch potential problems early."

Red Flag No. 5: Snubbed at the Company Party"

If you get the cold shoulder at your husband's company holiday party where everyone used to be friendly, it's a sign," Landers says. "His colleagues either know about the affair and figure you are on the way out, so why be nice? Or your partner has been making critical comments about you so they think you are no good."

Marriage Saving Solution: Address It Head-on

"Don't make excuses," she says. "Bring it up and open the lines of communication as soon as you notice anything unusual," she says. "When your doctor prescribes pain medication, he or she will tell you to take it before the pain gets really bad because then it is more likely to be effective," she says. The same holds for marital problems.

No. 6: Sneaking

"One of the red flags is when a partner is sneaking around a bit," Praver says. Maybe he or she takes secret cell phone calls on the porch instead of using the phone by the bed, or maybe he is out on weeknights whereas he used to be home watching television, she says. "If you see that a person is not around that much and is gone on different nights, something may be up," she says.

Marriage Saving Solution: Confrontation

"Obviously you have to confront a person and say, 'What's going on here?'" she says. "Once a person has been found out, they must 'fess up and that can be the first step in rebuilding trust," she says. While not necessarily advising it, Praver says people can check call logs on cell phones to see if there really is fire where there is smoke.

Red Flag No. 7: History Repeats Itself

"Sometimes people with a background of these types of things may be more likely to repeat them," Van Epp says. "There are exceptions and people can change patterns in their life, but if we are talking about red flags, history is a red flag."

Marriage Saving Solution: Set Boundaries

"It may be more up to the individual to set strong boundaries in these cases," he says. "You can't necessarily protect your spouse from having an affair, but you can come to an agreement about how far you will go in relationships outside of the marriage," he says. For example, pre-emptively discuss how much you will open up to people outside of the relationship as a way to safeguard against affairs down the road, he suggests.

But remember that nothing is fail-safe, Van Epp says. Many people who stray do so from a relatively good relationship.

Praver adds that affairs don't necessarily mean a marriage is over.

"An affair can bring about change," she says. "A partner may need more companionship; they often don't have affairs just for sex."

Stating the Obvious

2006-08-01T08:35:00.000-04:00

Janet Jackson says boyfriend, Jermaine Dupri likes receiving oral sex more than giving.

Making him like every other guy in the western world.

Two Computers All Waiting

2006-07-31T09:56:00.000-04:00

Trying to get things done for school, I've spent the morning switching between the two computers: one is faster but the other is hooked to the printer. Since the only connection we have is Dial up, neither is getting anything done quickly.

Can't wait for the new computer and the cable installer!

Drunken Ramblings

2006-07-30T23:48:00.000-04:00

He used to be so cute.

I've seen a lot of DUI arrests over the years. I used to process incident reports where everything the DUI suspect said after initial contact was repeated. I've seen a lot of videotaped arrests. Most of what Mel Gibson said is pretty standard.

Do you know who am I? Check

I'll have your job. Check

Sugar Tits. Check

Drunks are beligerent and obnoxious and chatty.

The anti-semitic stuff? Never heard anything like that in thirty years.

I've heard plenty of black/white comments (You're only arresting me because I'm black/white. Help a brother out. You're an Uncle Tom. Yada yada) but that has to do with who the arresting officer is. It's not some random out there conspiracy bullshit that has nothing to do with what's occuring.

But...You're the Oldest!

2006-07-30T23:36:00.000-04:00

One of the probelms with returning to college after the world's longest year off after high school is that I'm going to school with people the same age as my children.

It's interesting enough when I find myself in class with Zach and Zelda's former classmates. It's worse when they realize I'm the same age as their Moms and expect me to be in charge.

I don't want to be in charge. I'm not any good at it. I have no talent for it. I don't have time for it. If I'd wanted to ride herd on six kids, I'd have had six kids. But I find myself with the 'What do you think we should do, Miss Maggie? When do you think we should meet, Miss Maggie? Will you let everyone else know, Miss Maggie?'

Miss Maggie?!

I think they want me to set a time and demand they all show up. It ain't happening.

Now to figure out how to teach six tech savvy kids that they too can hit the reply all button on their email.

PostSecret of the Week

2006-07-30T23:27:00.000-04:00

Ahhh the exit fuck.

I've seen it used more as a way out of relationships than revenge when it's all over. I've known so many women who have screwed around on their husbands and been forgiven until they have sex with the one type of person the husband can't forgive. Affair after affair; we'll work it out, Baby. One black man, you Bitch!

I did know one woman whose 'Unforgivable' was a woman. A lot of men would be intrigued, turned on, or indifferent, but she knew who she was dealing with. Her husband was livid. She had struck at his core.

That's all these exit fucks are about anyway. It's what people do when they want out desperately, nothing else has worked, and for whatever reason they can't or won't end it themselves.

No one knows how to destroy you like the people that love you. No one else gets that close, knows your secrets, knows your fears.

I'm So Tired

2006-07-30T11:42:00.000-04:00

Here I stand, the goddess of Desire

Set men on fire

I have this power

Morning noon and night it's drink and dancing

Some quick romancing

And then a shower

Stage door johnnies always surround me

They always hound me

With one request

Who can satisfy their lustful habits

I'm not a rabbit

I need some rest

I'm tired

Sick and tired of love

I've had my fill of love

From below and above

Tired, tired of being admired

Tired of love uninspired

Let's face it I'm tired

I've been with 1000's of men

Again and again

They promise the moon

They always coming and going

Going and coming

And always too soon

Right girls?

I'm tired,

Tired of playing the game

Ain't it a crying shame

I'm so tired

God dammit I'm exhausted

Tired, tired of playing the game

Ain't it a crying shame

I'm so tired

[Soldiers:] She's tired (She's tired)

Sick and tired of love (Give her a break)

She's had her fill of love (She's not a snake)

From bellow and above (Can't you see she's sick)

Tired (She's bushed)

Tired of being admired (Let her alone)

Tired of love uninspired (Get off the phone)

She's tired (Don't you know she's pooped)

I've been with 1000's of men

Again and again

They sing the same tune

They start with Byron and Shelly

And jump on your belly

And bust your ballon

Aye!

Tired, tired of playing the game

Ain't it a freakin' shame

I'm so...

Let's face it everything below the waist is kapput!

[Soldiers:] Tired!

How

2006-07-30T11:35:00.000-04:00

do people with jobs do it?

I just finished transcribing ten, count them TEN, pages of lecture notes from one class, I have to research and write a speech and design a visual presentation to go with it for a second, and I have a group project with a MIA group for a third.

I'm one of the lucky ones. My kids are grown and on their own. My husband makes a great living for both of us and is amazingly understanding when I have my head buried in a textbook and he asks what's for supper and gets the response 'Whatever you can find in the freezer' (Thank you Lean Cuisine!!)

The Things Women Will Do...

2006-07-30T11:25:00.000-04:00

to keep their Number from going up.

So maybe I'm the last person who needs to be talking about boomerang relationships since Brick and I are on another newlywed phase but how many times is Pam Anderson going to bounce between the same two guys? Is it just to keep her Number from going up?

Tommy Lee--KidRock--Tommy Lee--Kid Rock...

Is it that these guys are so special (not that I see it) or she just doesn't know how to move on? I'd hate to think it was that she doesn't want to get a bad reputation because after half the planet has seen your sex tape it's kind of late to worry about that.

Shoot the Messenger

2006-07-29T14:16:00.000-04:00

Why is it with some groups it is acceptable to behave badly and ill-mannered to point it out?

The Right Thing

2006-07-27T09:22:00.000-04:00

It's a miracle it doesn't happen more often.

The question I hear most often is: 'Why?'

Why did no one get her help? Why did no one protect those children? Why did they keep having child after child after child when there was an obvious problem?

There is still a stigma with mental illness. Ministers tell their parishioners that if their faith was stronger, they would be better. God would fix them. People are told they're being invaded by Satan. That they should buck up, grow up, act right, what will the neighbors think.

Unless we get past those attitudes, it's going to happen again.

I Hate To Break It To You

2006-07-27T09:08:00.000-04:00

but you're gay.

You may not realize it, but you are. I'll take you at your word that there has never been a physical relationship. You're still gay.

It's not that you are 'strong, black women'. It's not that the world doesn't understand. The world may understand better than you do.

You have been the only constants in one anothers' lives for 30 years. It's not that you're constants, it's the only part.

You talk to each other four times a day. I've been married 30 years. I may talk to my husband four times a day and we have to work to accomplish that sometimes. I adore my children; don't talk to them four times a day. Is there anyone else you have managed to talk to four times a day for 30 years?

The clincher for me is the comment that if one of you was a man, you'd get married.

Oprah, I know you've heard of emotional affairs. You've done shows on them. You're in one. You may not realize that's what it is. Sometimes heterosexuals in emotional affairs don't realize it either, but you are. And if a person's life partner, and after 30 years that's a life partner, is someone of the same sex, they're gay.

Even if they never make it physical. Even if they never realize it.

They just are.

It's Called A 'Joke'

2006-07-26T07:29:00.000-04:00

'Jeopardy' Champ Ken Jennings Blasts Show

NEW YORK — "Jeopardy!" ace Ken Jennings, who won $2.5 million during his 74-game winning streak, has a few unkind words to say about the show — and dapper host Alex Trebek.

"I know, I know, the old folks love him," Jennings writes in a recent posting, titled "Dear Jeopardy!" on his Web site.

"Nobody knows he died in that fiery truck crash a few years back and was immediately replaced with the Trebektron 4000 (I see your engineers still can't get the mustache right, by the way)."

Jennings also takes aim at the show's "effete, left-coast" categories and "same-old" format.

"You're like the Dorian Gray of syndication," he says. "You seem to think `change' means replacing a blue polyethylene backdrop with a slightly different shade of blue polyethylene backdrop every presidential election or so."

A call by The Associated Press to "Jeopardy!" spokesman Jeff Ritter was not immediately returned Tuesday.

Jennings, a software engineer from Salt Lake City, snagged 74 wins on "Jeopardy!" in 2004 before he was beaten by challenger Nancy Zerg.

Trebek, 66, has hosted the show since 1984. In a "correction" posted Monday on his Web site, Jennings offers an apology of sorts.

"We regret the insinuation that Mr. Alex Trebek is a robot, and has been since 2004. Mr. Trebek's robotic frame does still contain some organic parts, many harvested from patriotic Canadian schoolchildren, so this technically makes him a `cyborg,' not a `robot.'"

Doesn't this qualify as fond teasing not 'blasting'? And he has a point; Jeopardy never really changes much. It's still basically the same show I watched as a child forty years ago. Which is what I, and many others like about it.

Maggie's Drama of the Day

2006-07-24T09:49:00.000-04:00

The kitten runs underneath feet and he ran underneath mine yesterday and, unlike every other time, this time when I slid the foot to avoid stepping on him he went with it.. No vets on Sunday so I was frantic and showed up with him when they opened this morning.

He has a 'degloving injury'. When his little face slid along the carpet the skin came loose on his chin. They're cleaning it out, stiching him up, and pumping him full of antibiotics and he'll be fine but I'm still shaken by 24 hours of worrying myself sick that I broke his jaw and Brick (who has stepped on him numerous times too) saying things like "You need to look where you're going" in a voice that could freeze boiling water. Since he knows I still feel guilty over a squirrel that committed suicide under my car tires 15 years ago, he really needs to lay off.

Maybe There's a Message?

2006-07-24T09:41:00.000-04:00

Marriage proposal ends in plane crash
Couple survives, now looking for engagement ring

The Associated Press
Published on: 07/24/06

ROME — The marriage proposal that ended with a plane crash began with the bride-to-be thinking she was going on a date to the movies.

But Adam Sutton, 19, had other plans.

He had convinced his high school sweetheart, Erika Brussee, 18, to take a chartered flight around the Rome area Friday. And Sutton's plan included having family members hold up a sign asking Brussee to marry him.

"He convinced me that it was a last-minute thing, that his dad knew someone who could fly us around Rome," Brussee said. "I had no idea."

Sutton had arranged for family members to stand on the ground below the plane's flight path holding up a tarp with the proposal written on it.

"(The tarp) was upside down when we went around, but I saw the word 'marry.' Then I saw my mom waving at me, and then I knew what was happening."

But her glee was short-lived. The planed crashed at the Richard B. Russell Regional Airport.

"It didn't even register in our mind that we'd crashed, Sutton said. "I was looking at her and was going to get the ring out, and then — just impact."
Brussee said she was too preoccupied to pay attention to their situation.

"I was just ecstatic that he was asking me," she said. "I just turned to look at him and that's when we crashed."

"I knew something wasn't right when we first hit," said Sutton. "I saw that the front was on fire."

"I do remember the fire, but other than that I don't remember much of it," Brussee said. "I just remember that it hurt, and that we were just banging around."

After Sutton got Brussee off the plane, he went back to check on the pilot, who was unconscious.

"I grabbed his arm, pulled him towards me," Sutton said. "I pulled him out as best I could, got him on the ground, and dragged him as far as I could. That's when my dad showed up. I handed him off to him, and I just collapsed on the ground."

The family has been told the crash was probably caused by the combination of the plane's low speed and altitude.

The newly engaged pair was treated and released at Floyd Medical Center and the pilot, Bradley Gilbert of Lawrenceville, underwent surgery.

Meanwhile, the couple has other important business to attend to.

"Get a ring," Brussee said.

The original ring was lost in the crash, though the box it was in has been found. The family suspects that it's still on the plane somewhere, but they won't be able to look for it until federal officials finish their investigation later this week.

PostSecret of the Week

2006-07-22T22:47:00.000-04:00

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

2006-07-21T23:36:00.000-04:00

Normal people, evil acts.

Is it that all of us are capable of evil but it takes special circumstances to flower or do we all do evil things all the time and get a pass for most of them?

It’s not that people like Nazis are all that different. Their evil is just less socially acceptable.

Look at the typical American family and the evil that gallops through in the name of love. People swear an oath before god to love and cherish one another and when it’s time for a divorce the knives come out and it’s not viewed as evil or a betrayal or even a social faux pas. Spousal abuse, child abuse, all explained away. That’s the way things are. People lose their tempers. Emotions get the better of folks. As long as it’s not taken to extremes, it’s accepted or society actively colludes in hiding it which is, in effect acceptance.

These Wilder Years

2006-07-21T23:32:00.000-04:00

Preachy, sermonistic, dated...but damn it's great to see Cagney and Stanwyck together.

Communication Anxiety

2006-07-20T08:16:00.000-04:00

My Ass.

I have to give a speech today. I have practiced it over 10 times and haven't gotten though it once without choking and wanting to throw up. And, if I survive this one, I get to give four more.

So everything in life is a choice. What are mine? I can go to class even though I'm conpletely panicked, possibly throw up in front of a couple dozen people, make a total fool of myself, embarass myself and my family, and survive it or I drop out of school, give up my goals, plans, and hopes, and just quit.

There really is no in between. I have to take the class to graduate. If I drop the class now it won't be any easier later, it will be harder, and later would require me to attend school an extra quarter.

So if today is a complete disaster? Ok, when today is a complete disaster. I survive. Unless that inevitable heart attack decides to have fortunate timing.

Like in the next 90 minutes.

Not This Week

2006-07-20T08:12:00.000-04:00

Not this week. This week Ralph Reed was soundly defeated in the primary to select the Republican candidate for Lt. Governor.

We Want Your Business!

2006-07-20T07:20:00.000-04:00

No, you don't.

Marriott announces that all of their hotels will be non-smoking.

That's their choice. It's my choice to never give them any of my money ever again.

Sweet Squash?

2006-07-19T10:36:00.000-04:00

I really did plan to be good. I was going to order a side salad. And then I saw that squash casserole came with the Reuben and fries at Three Dollar Cafe.

Squash casserole could go a long way to making the Karaoke caterwauling a little easier to bear.

The first sign that I may have found the only squash casserole I didn't like was that there was a melted slice of American cheese laid over the top of theserving bowl. But how bad could it be?

Squash casserole is one of those things that may have never been made exactly the same ever but they're always good. Different, but good. With or without onions, peppers, eggs, cheese, pimentoes, bread crumbs, cracker crumbs, one kind of squash or a variety, it's all good.

This wasn't good. It was sweet. It was so sweet it was like a squash cobbler with American cheese for a crust.

When the Server asked what I thought of it, I asked if she wanted an honest answer. There were a lot of new things on the menu and I thought it was something new they were trying and they wanted to know what customers thought about it.

According to the cook, people love their squash casserole and go there just to eat it. Well I didn't mean for it to become such a big deal and if there are people who like sweet squash they're welcome to mine and I thought people went there for the gazillion giant screen TVs showing sports. As Brick said, 'You don't go to a Sports bar looking for good squash.'

2006-07-17T08:14:00.000-04:00

Bob Brooks, founder of Hooters, dies at 69
By AIXA M. PASCUAL
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 07/17/06

Robert H. Brooks, 69, founder of the Hooters restaurant chain, died Sunday morning at his home in Myrtle Beach, S.C.

The cause of death was not known, said Mike McNeil, vice president of marketing for the Atlanta-based Hooters of America Inc., the operator and franchiser of Hooters.

Brooks, who formerly lived in metro Atlanta for 30 years, flew to Atlanta every week to oversee his two companies, Hooters of America and Naturally Fresh Inc.

Brooks is survived by his wife Tami; son Coby, 37; and daughter Boni Belle, 7.

"He was just a wonderful man, a very giving man," said his brother-in law Jay Springs.......

Well I just bet he was. Having seen pictures, maybe he died of shame over the tragic eyejob?

Ok, so that was tacky but while I'm being tacky might as well go all out.

The names of the survivors tell a tale. Why am I not shocked that the founder of Hooters is married to a girl named 'Tami'. Wonder how old 'Tami' is? Somehow I'm doubting she's the mother of the 37-year-old and the 7-year-old. Is that even physically possible?

I could be completely wrong. Tami could be a dowdy 55-year-old in orthopedic shoes.

Nah......

The Sanctity of Marriage Part 28742094

2006-07-17T08:11:00.000-04:00

Stone Mountain man kills wife in front of children
By SAEED AHMED
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 07/17/06

A man shot his common-law wife to death in front of his children Sunday afternoon, then took his own life while the kids ran to seek help, police said.

The couple had been fighting, and the woman had taken off with her children when the man jumped into her sport-utility vehicle as it pulled out of their house on Olde Scotland in Stone Mountain, DeKalb police said.

The man shot the woman, told the children to get out of the SUV, then killed himself while driving from the passenger?s seat, said police spokesman Jason Gagnon.

The three girls, ages 15, 12 and 6, ran to Belinda Staley?s door, screaming for help.

"The oldest kept saying, 'My daddy shot her, please don't let my mommy die," Staley said Sunday night.

While she was trying to calm the children down, she heard the second shot. The charcoal gray SUV came to rest on the side of the house, she said.

Police have not provided the identities of the man and woman.

The couple had a fourth child, a 14-year-old son who was at a sleepover at the time.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

2006-07-13T17:27:00.000-04:00

People lie; behaviors don't. Let behavior over time speak for itself.

Repeat as needed.

I'm A Good Girl, I Am!

2006-07-10T22:27:00.000-04:00

In the environment where Eliza Doolittle grew up, with a father ready to pimp her out, there is no way she was able to remain a 'good girl'.

Cute Overload of the Day

2006-07-10T22:26:00.000-04:00

Run!!!

2006-07-10T12:35:00.000-04:00

Picture of concession stand worker running from weekend crowds.

Driving up to the theater, you could see it; Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest was selling a lot of tickets. There were cars parked behind the theater, an area I had never seen cars in before.

The lobby was packed and there were signs at the ticket kiosk announcing the cancellation of another movie due to 'Technical Difficulties'. The 'Difficulties' were that the theater decided to run Pirates on two screens per scheduled showtime.

The Concession crew had a look of genuine panic in their eyes by the time we got to the counter. We ordered our large popcorn and large Diet Coke as I said encouraging things to the poor overworked girl who had just been treated badly by the group of moviegoers who had gone before.

Even with two theaters showing, the auditorium was packed.

So was the movie any good?

It wasn't horrible. There were some good moments, there were some slow spells, it set up the third movie. Isn't that what all second legs of planned trilogies do?

Let's Save Marriage!

2006-07-10T11:15:00.000-04:00

I've had it all wrong. Those silly ideas about freedom, individuality, self determination. What was I thinking?!

Those people who are determined to keep gays from getting married to save marriage, they're right. But if we really value marriage, we aren't going far enough. If those bothersome gays have to give up full protection under the law for the greater good of preserving the institution of marriage, everyone else should have to make some sacrifices too.

No more divorce. It doesn't matter if you hate and despise one another. Nothing is more destructive of marriage than divorce so that has to be the first thing to go.

Put adulterers in prison. Those pesky privacy concerns don't matter when compared to the importance of the institution. So what if 70% of married people will have to be jailed. And, given the infidelity rates in law enforcement, I'm not sure who's going to arrest and guard all those people but those are all triffles.

Make birth control illegal. After all, the importance of one man/one woman is that they can procreate so the government should insure that all citizens procreate as much as possible. Sidenote: strong consideration should be given to banning anyone who can't certify their ability to reproduce from marrying. Any person practicing birth control should be jailed.

Women should be banned from working. It causes stress on the marriage and someone needs to take care of all those children that no birth control is going to create. Any woman attempting to work should be jailed.

Ban civil marriages. If we're going to run our government on religious principles, go all out and make sure all marriages are blessed by the god the majority chooses (crack down on immigration to insure that the 'right' majority stays the majority). Anyone attempting to marry someone while dressed like Elvis should be jailed.

Those are the basics. After that the government based on moral values can decide what size house we can live in (government studies can determine the optimum size and configuration to preserve marriage), what kind of cars we can drive (we'll need bigger vehicles with all those children), what kind of foods we can buy (the government should step in and mandate healthy eating habits by all) and whatever else the majority decides matters.

Down with individualism! Down with freedom! Down with the Constitution!

It's about preserving the important things.

Marrying Up

2006-07-10T10:59:00.000-04:00

One online friend met another recently and described meeting the mutual friend and her family.

"All I can say is, her husband really married up."

I've thought about that a lot ever since. Our friend is gorgeous, sweet, and loving. The husband is an ordinary looking, blue collar guy. The thing is, he adores her. He treats her like gold. He thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world to have her and their children and treats them accordingly.

The friend who was not impressed is also married. Her husband is attractive and successful. He's also an abusive asshole.

Who married up?

If I had two choices: a guy who wasn't great looking but he loved me or a guy who had all the 'right' attributes and treated me like garbage, I'm going for the plain guy every time.

The Ties That Bind

2006-07-10T10:45:00.000-04:00

I've forgiven Brick a lot over the years. I have managed to overcome even the things that are unforgivable. This has sometimes lead people who know our history to presume that I am a forgiving person. I'm not.

There are ties that bind: family, history, children. When your life is interwoven with anothers, you forgive a lot. When the only thing tying you to another person is affection and a common interest, cutting loose is much easier.

Of Course She Isn't!

2006-07-09T09:04:00.000-04:00

Keira Knightley denies she's anorexic

Cute Overload of the Day

2006-07-09T09:00:00.000-04:00

PostSecret of the Week

2006-07-09T08:55:00.000-04:00

Wish I Had a 14-Year-Old

2006-07-09T08:48:00.000-04:00

Because then I could be a lousy parent, not supervise my child, not pay attention to what they're doing, and, when the inevitable disaster occurs, I can sue someone else! Parental Pimping at it's finest!

If it is too inconvenient for you to walk down the hallway and find out what your kid is up to, how is My Space supposed to accomplish it?

The Lies Our Kids Tell Us

2006-07-09T08:43:00.000-04:00

"I'm just gonna go on this little vacation and I'll be back before you know it."

Message left by PFC Thomas Tucker to his parents. PFC Tucker was captured and tortured to death by insurgents in Iraq.

Dinner at Your House

2006-07-09T08:17:00.000-04:00

Time took an excellent look at Americans and food a few weeks ago. And then I see this Letter to the Editor in response:

"Your series of articles on eating smart made a good case for healthful home-cooked fods. What it didn't address was the downside: someone has to actually cook those healthy foods. Cooking is tedious, repetitive, and time-consuming. The last thing I want to do when I come home from a long day at work, tired and hungry, is wash, chop, and prepare vegetables. And lest anyone blame my attitude on not being a stay-at-home mother, I don't like cooking on the weekends either."

Why is she the person doing the cooking? If being a stay-at-home mother is an option, I'm assuming there is another parent so why aren't they cooking? There are kids, why aren't they cooking?

The person doing the cooking needs to be the one who enjoys it. For a lot of us, cooking is a fun adventure and things like washing, chopping, and preparing vegetables can be a way to calm down and destress after a long day. It can also be a fabulous way to spend time with your children.

A person who enjoys food and cooking realizes that there are tons of convenience foods available at the grocery now: pre-shredded carrots, chopped veggies, pre-mixed salad, pre-cut fruit. A healthy, colorful, flavorful meal really can be made in 5 minutes.

Why is the one with the whohaa in charge of meals even if they have no affinity for it? If someone doesn't enjoy cooking, their meals are going to be tasteless, joyless affairs that I just as soon skip. There are few cooks worse than one who is a martyr to the demanding stomachs around them.

Even if the woman is from a family where every single member hates cooking, why is she the one who is always doing it? Split it up. Give each kid a night where they are in charge within guidelines. Have the husband be responsible for dinner a couple of nights a week. Do it all together.

Or maybe it's easier to be a victim than to try to fix the situation.