Merv the Perv

So I ask myself as I'm talking to the guy I'm crazy about tonight 'If I could have him for the rest of my life is this what I really want?' When I get out of the lust-induced haze I have to ask myself just how kinky am I ready to live with on a daily basis? But I've been living with it for thirteen years and he hasn't completely freaked me out yet. But lately it's getting kind of close. Lately it's been so reckless, so out of control, so out there, that I don't know if I could have it if I would want it.

Is it even him I want or the vision of him I've created? Is it real because it's lasted this long or has it lasted this long because he's always, in the end, unavailable. So I ask myself the lottery question, If I won $100 million tomorrow (i.e. complete financial freedom) would I still want him? And so far, the answer's still yes. I'd still want at least a few years of seeing what life would be like with Merv the Perv.