Oooh Baby, Baby

It seems as if everyone I know is getting bad news these days.

Merv was looking forward to being a Grandfather again. When people know there's a new baby coming they start imagining what that child will be. Will he be like his brother? Just as smart? Just as cute? As much of a joy?

And then test results come back and you find out that nothing you've imagined is going to happen and you mourn the death of the child you dreamed. The one that will never be.

When it's not your child you think 'I wouldn't keep that baby!' You might fancy it up a little, tell yourself you don't want to put a child through the difficulties that life would inevitably bring, but the truth is you can't imagine the pain, the struggle, the next seventy years of raising a child that will never grow up completely, that will always need you to watch over them.

When it is your baby, it's different. You already love it. And things that seemed so simple aren't anymore. The thing about 'choice'? All the 'choices' suck. The other thing about choice? You lose the comforting fallacy that it's all 'God's will'. Every problem that child will face in life happens because of your will. You had the opportunity to make things different and chose not too.

So what do you do? You probably pray, a lot. You pray for guidance, understanding, acceptance, wisdom.

And Grandparents? How do you stand by as your children face the most difficult challenges you can imagine and you know you can't 'fix' it for them? How do you ever learn how to do that?