Flight 93

So we're all settled in for the 'Pre-Show Entertainment'. That's become a routine part of our moviegoing experience. We do the Kiosk Shuffle where Brick and I move in our established pattern: step forward with debit and moviewatcher card, step back as Brick steps forward to catch the printed stubs. We've done the Concession tag-team: he takes and butters the popcorn, I take the change and diet Coke. It's time to count the amount of commercials that will be disguised as enjoyment for the whole family.

Movietickets.com: check. Featurette on The DaVinci Code: check. Extended commercial meant to convince that time is being wasted at the theater when you should be home watching TNT: check. Flight 93: I didn't sign on for this.

It's one thing to choose to go to a movie. I don't think anything should be banned. I just don't want to be forced to go. Y'all want to see Rocky XXII, Bitches and Hos, Dead Teenager Movie? Have fun. Don't save a seat for me.

It's another to have a long, and excruciatingly smarmy, commercial thrown at you out of nowhere. To sum up the commercial: Ok, we know none of y'all want to see this movie. But you have to because that's what the grieving families want you to do. Look at all these grieving family members who want you to see our movie!

If this is what they consider sensitive and caring marketing, I don't even want to see what they can do with two hours of film. And if you're dragging out relatives, couldn't you have found more sympathetic ones than a brother (is it a ne'er do well and no one else in the family would get near this thing?) and a widow who appears to have been 30 years younger than her late husband?

I considered walking out of the room while the thing was playing but I hate it when people condemn something they've never seen (listen to a description of what happens in Brokeback Mountain by someone who has never seen it but their Preacher told them about it sometime). So I watched the whole thing and I now have the right to condemn it just as loud and long as I want to.

The people who made this thing may be perfectly lovely people. It may be a wonderful film. The filmakers may be sensitive and caring and unfortunately saddled with a gawdawful advertising department. I don't care. I'm not going to see it.