Shhhhhh!

I've learned a lot about myself over the last couple of weeks. I have developed ways of dealing with insomnia and the panic that strikes in the middle of the night. I write, usually on here where I can pretend no one reads it, I take hot soaky baths, I surf the Internet, I watch TV, I catch up with friends online. I haven't been able to do any of those things for the last two weeks. I've been in a guest house with no Internet access, a shower stall instead of a tub, and an antenna for the TV that manages to pick up one channel, badly.

I even managed to strand myself without paper to write on. I was considering writing between the lines of old newspapers. I have tried writing during the day in Big Mama's house but the illusion of privacy is difficult to maintain in a room full of people especially when they never shut up. I did not realize how important self-expression had become until it became next to impossible.

So tomorrow we leave and I'm going to miss Big Mama but I crave private, quiet time, and the ability to write at 3 A.M.