Daughters

Daughters are wonderful things.

I get a call tonight from Zelda asking a factual question. I tell her she's been given wrong information and, through the phone, I hear her turn to someone and say "No way. My Mom says 'No' and my Mom's never wrong!"

Damn I wish I had a recording of that to play back sometime.

I'm starting to realize I was a not-horrible Mom. I spend a lot of time around young mothers and I'll mention things that were standard when I was raising the kids and they look at me like I'm from another planet.

Your two year old is not being willful and disobedient at 11pm. She's tired. She needs sleep, not punishment.

You want a good relationship with your child? Make them an integral part of your life. Cook with them. Clean with them. Talk with them while you do those things and listen to what they have to say without telling them they're wrong. They'll always be comfortable talking with you and you won't be wondering what they're up to when they're sixteen.

You're not their friend. You're their Mother. You make the rules. You set policy. You aren't their buddy, their pal, or their playmate. And they're not your confidant. Deal with your own problems. They aren't here to make you feel better, even if they often do.

Be honest always. Never lie even if you have to give a five year old level explanation sometimes.

Be age appropriate. Don't treat your twenty year old like she's twelve.

And love them. Love them more than anyone and anything else.