Disengaged

Disengaged

Engaged

Had a chat with a friend about whether he was disengaged from his relationship. He felt he was engaged. I thought he hadn't been for a long time.

"Whyever would you say I'm not engaged in my marriage?"

"Well, maybe 'engaged' means different things to men and women but to me, the day you wake up and you're truly engaged in your relationship, you call your girlfriend and tell her you can't have any contact with her anymore."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Okaaay.

Just to clear up the meaning of the term...to this woman anyway....engaged means that your partner is your primary focus. If you have desires, you tell them. If you have dreams, you tell them. If you have secrets, that's the person you share them with. Not someone else.

Paying the bills, mowing the yard, and showing up on time for supper is not a relationship. It's business.

Can women, especially wives, adjust to being in a business relationship with their spouses? Of course. But don't tell yourself you're the love of their life. Don't lie to yourself that you're there for them straight down the line. And don't even imagine they much care as they nod and smile and pretend to listen as you tell them about your day.