And now for something completely different....

Taking a break from all the death and destruction...my romantic life.

There are three main possibilities. One is semi-straight leaning towards kinky, but he rides a motorcycle. One is a Dom but he pushes too fast and I'm getting the impression his real life is a train wreck. Another is a Dom and everything seemed to be clicking but he seems to like things a lot more structured than I'm used to.

There are assorted minor possibilities. Minor flirtations. People like my teacher that are incredibly appealing but completely off-limits. People I've met with whom I haven't even done the opening steps of the dance.

And then there's Merv, who's always going to be 2000 miles away and Brick who comes so close I'm ready to walk away from everyone but him and then he shuts down completely.

Part of me says I have valid reasons for shooting down all the guys that I have. Another part says that riding a motorcycle isn't enough of a reason to not consider a relationship.

Part of me wants someone to care about and love that loves and cares about me. Part of me won't let anyone get that close. In other words, I do the exact same thing I complain about Brick and Merv doing. I attempt to get close then I pull back and throw up walls and try to stay safe.

Is this something unique to we three or does everyone do this?