I spy with my little eye.....

Talking to the friend whose husband found the Evil BOB. He wasn't looking for BOB when he went rifling through her drawers (which helps explain his shock at finding it). He was looking for her diary. So he could read it.

Good thing she doesn't have one.

Since then he's gone through the drawers a few more times, if she says she's going out with a friend, he calls the friend to make sure she's really there, and he's come home unexpectedly a couple times a week.

And he sees nothing wrong with this.

Sweetie, she's not only of age, she's over 40. You're her husband, not her Daddy. It ain't your job to check up on her. You don't trust her? Think she's the kind of woman who's entertaining company in the house with the kids there playing X-Box in the den? Divorce her ass. She'll probably thank you.

But enough with the Secret Squirrel routine. It's tacky and ineffective.