Another Driveway, Twenty Years Later

My Father lived a very different life than his Mother, my Mamaw. He was always going somewhere, always busy, he liked the adulation of many but, when I grew up and away and had children of my own, he took up his own vigil in the driveway.

At the end of each visit he would take a break from whatever was filling his day and come home so he could be there to see us off when we left. I would load Zach and Zelda into their carseats after lots of hugs and kisses and as we'd drive away he'd stand in the driveway and cry and wave until we were gone from sight.

My Daddy was a man who was not afraid to show tender emotion. He cried from sentiment. He cried to manipulate. Every time I drove away I'd worry that it would be the last time and the kids would cry that we couldn't leave Papa because it made him so sad.

Now that I'm the one in the driveway, saying 'Goodbye' to those I love more than anything, I find I'm a combination of the two. I smile my Mamaw's smiles till they're out of sight and then I cry my Daddy's tears. I just don't want my sorrow at their leaving to stay with them. I want then to be free to go off and experience and shine and, please god, come home soon.