Choose to lose

I'm choosing to lose some things in my life.

I'm choosing to lose some weight. Seriously. Weight has been a cocoon to hide in since puberty but I'm tired of it and I'm not buying bigger pants. If I want to be comfortable I have to exercise and get back into the size I was in pre-surgery before my shape changed (not for the better). I may buy smaller but I'm not buying bigger ever again.

I'm choosing to lose Will. I want to see how things go with Brick for awhile so I'm not looking to get in any deeper than I already have. It wasn't spectacular enough to risk a good marriage for. A not good marriage, yes, but not a good one.

I choose to lose Merv as anything but a friend.

I'm choosing to lose my role as 'Mom' when Zelda moves out in nine days. I love her but I'm ready for an empty nest. I need the closet space. I want a spare room and a home gym and empty dresser drawers. I want to be able to rearrange the house to suit no one but Brick and I for the first time in 25 years. Ok, so I'm still going to have to deal with assorted furry creatures but their paraphanelia isn't nearly as abundant as the kids' (how many squeaky toys does the dog have again?)

Maybe Brick will be happy with the changes and maybe he won't. I can always lose him if necessary.