The Best Friend

Oprah's doing a show about Women whose Best Friends have affairs with their husbands and she is of the opinion that it never happens. A true best friend would never do such a thing.

If I was having an affair with a man in my circle, his wife would consider me a 'Best Friend'. I would be friendly, kind, caring, concerned, and loving towards her. Not out any ulterior motive, but because the man I love loves her and the people he loves matter to me. And if (when?) it all blew up, she would feel betrayed.

How do you say to someone 'You aren't the primary person in this menage.' It's almost like you're saying 'It's not all about you. It has little to do with you.' but that just sounds unecessarily cruel. It's not about betraying her. It's also that she's not important enough to stop.

BTW, does the Oprah husband have to look so smug about the whole thing?

I will never understand how other women can hate the wife. For one thing, it is another woman. Don't we owe some care, compassion, and understanding to each other as women even if it's not enough to make us walk away from a man? Other women make the wife the bad guy. The wife makes the other woman the bad guy and the husband, the one who made the vows that were broken, just gets a pass on all of it.

How can polygamy be any more complicated than all of this?