Communication Anxiety

My Ass.

I have to give a speech today. I have practiced it over 10 times and haven't gotten though it once without choking and wanting to throw up. And, if I survive this one, I get to give four more.

So everything in life is a choice. What are mine? I can go to class even though I'm conpletely panicked, possibly throw up in front of a couple dozen people, make a total fool of myself, embarass myself and my family, and survive it or I drop out of school, give up my goals, plans, and hopes, and just quit.

There really is no in between. I have to take the class to graduate. If I drop the class now it won't be any easier later, it will be harder, and later would require me to attend school an extra quarter.

So if today is a complete disaster? Ok, when today is a complete disaster. I survive. Unless that inevitable heart attack decides to have fortunate timing.

Like in the next 90 minutes.