I Hate To Break It To You

but you're gay.

You may not realize it, but you are. I'll take you at your word that there has never been a physical relationship. You're still gay.

It's not that you are 'strong, black women'. It's not that the world doesn't understand. The world may understand better than you do.

You have been the only constants in one anothers' lives for 30 years. It's not that you're constants, it's the only part.

You talk to each other four times a day. I've been married 30 years. I may talk to my husband four times a day and we have to work to accomplish that sometimes. I adore my children; don't talk to them four times a day. Is there anyone else you have managed to talk to four times a day for 30 years?

The clincher for me is the comment that if one of you was a man, you'd get married.

Oprah, I know you've heard of emotional affairs. You've done shows on them. You're in one. You may not realize that's what it is. Sometimes heterosexuals in emotional affairs don't realize it either, but you are. And if a person's life partner, and after 30 years that's a life partner, is someone of the same sex, they're gay.

Even if they never make it physical. Even if they never realize it.

They just are.