'Your' Song

I always told my kids there are three sides to every story; your side, the other guy's side, and the truth, which is somewhere between the two. The Rashomen Effect.

As I was reading through the multi-chapter memoir of a friend's relationship recently I was stunned at their view of his life. Their view didn't match the story I'd heard from the woman he was involved with. It was completely different from my view as an outsider.

Part of me was amused at the thought of getting his wife, his longtime lover, his longtime female 'best friend', and his female therapist in a room together for a few hours to compare notes on our views and experiences of him and each other without going through his filters and interpretations. Men would never survive if all the women in their lives stopped competing with one another and instead worked together.

But there was a deeper thought. I guess what I always told the kids about truth holds true for relationships too. My story of my life with Brick, or Merv, is probably radically different from either of theirs.

Part of me wishes I could hear their stories, their songs, clearly and uncensored. Not all the time, but occasionally, just to check and see if we're not just on the same page but in the same book.