You Can Feel Bad...

if it makes you feel better.

So I've been looking for Merv's replacement. For the last few months I've found myself testing his behavior and he's failed every one so......

There are three possibilities so far.

One seems eager and nice, has some similar interests, but lives too close and seems too dangerous. I want to avoid wives that watch a guy's every move. Wives that would be almost grateful to have someone else take care of that sort of thing are more my speed. And I'm terrified of hurting or embarassing Brick.

One lives the perfect distance away, seems smart, funny, and interesting, but he's way too attractive to want to be with me. He runs, is in great shape, has a great face and I'm not athletic, smoke, and I'm plain at best.

The third is in town a lot but lives too far away so it's hard to take him very seriously.

What I really want is Brick. I wish he'd say enough already, stay home, let's actually try a 'real' marriage where we have sex with each other. But that's not going to happen and I don't think I want to be alone yet. I'm still too young to completely bury my sexuality under aprons and Grandma's cookie baking.