Blast from the Past

I have a family of origin that doesn't talk to one another. We go for years without calling, writing, or knowing exactly where everyone lives. I guess our lives were so disrupted as children we never formed the bonds that most people do with family. We have no habits to fall back on, no traditions, few shared memories.

I have been able to form a strong nuclear family unit but it's isolated, cut off from the Grandparents, Aunts, cousins that most people view as standard. It's a good life, a quiet life but good and I was really thrown when one of the Prodigals just showed up this past week.

He's the one no one has known where he lived for a couple of years. No address. No phone number. Just a vague belief that he was in west Georgia somewhere.

I wish I could say that I was thrilled he's back but I can't. So far my reaction has been anxiety. Do I call the rest of the family and let them know he's popped back up? Well one, none of them called and let me know when he disappeared and two, he's finally emerged from exile, isn't it his place to reach out to the others when he's ready?

I could be worrying for nothing. This could be like most encounters in my family; we were polite and friendly and made promises that we'd get together real soon and that will be it for years.

It's not even him really. I think I just view my family as such a minefield of pain just waiting to explode that I associate anyone from that time with a rueful 'It would be nice but I just can't take the risk.' Since he vanished for 2 years maybe that's a feeling he understands too well.