Friday, June 30, 2006

Chasin' Whiskey


That isolating fan is moving left to right
Like it's mocking me for coming here again last night
I slide from under your arm, you're still out stone cold
As I fumble through the twisted sheets looking for my clothes
I step over that spot on your hardwood floor
The one that always squeaks when I'm sneaking out your door
Some use water, others use beer
Some don't need anything but I end up here
Searching for comfort for this burnout can't soothe
Chasing my whiskey with you
I call up my sister and tell her, don't say a word
You know where I am, I'll wait here by the curb
Just like an addiction, well, I tried to give you up
But I know all bets are off when I've had too much
With an empty shot glass on a Budweiser coaster
Staring at my cell phone as closing time gets closer
Every time is the last time
Til the next time rolls around
I'll trade lonely for a regret
It's easier to drown
Some use water, others use beer
Some don't need anything but I end up here
Searching for comfort for this burnout I can't soothe
Chasing my whiskey with you

Pictures of You


I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures are
All I can feel
Remembering
You standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
And we kissed as the sky fell in
Holding you close
How I always held close in your fear
Remembering
You running soft through the night
You were bigger and brighter and wider than snow
And screamed at the make-believe
Screamed at the sky
And you finally found all your courage
To let it all go
Remembering
You fallen into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white
So delicate
Lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark
Remembering
You how you used to be
Slow drowned
You were angels
So much more than everything
Hold for the last time then slip away quietly
Open my eyes
But I never see anything
If only I'd thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All my pictures of you
Looking so long at these pictures of you
But I never hold on to your heart
Looking so long for the words to be true
But always just breaking apart
My pictures of you
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to never feel the breaking apart
All my pictures of you

Lonely Alone


How long did it take to find this letter
I know it wasn't right when you got home
Was it about the time you started getting hungry
And looked to see what I left on the stove
Did it ever cross your mind to even worry
Or wonder where I am, is everything alright
No, that's why I left it on your pillow
Cause that's the only time I cross your mind
I refuse to be with you and be forgotten
So this afternoon I thought
Why not just go
After all I'm already lonely
I might as well be lonely alone
Maybe I've become a different woman
Or maybe you've became a different man
You wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing
Well, I'm not expecting you to understand
Cause you had no idea this was coming
How could you when I've always just been there
But you just go on taking me for granted
And for the first time in my life I don't care
I refuse to be with you and be forgotten
So this afternoon I thought
Why not just go
After all I'm already lonely
I might as well be lonely alone

The Viewhaha


Maybe I'm just a contrarian but I feel bad for Star Jones Reynolds.

There really does seem to have been a concerted effort, for months, to sabotage her career. So many tidbits don't leak out of The View without it being intentional and a woman who is still complaining 20+ years later about her mistreatment as the first female nighttime anchor is someone who is not the smiling happy face she likes to project to the public. Barbara didn't know and tried to protect Star my ass.

Don't like her? Fine. Don't want her on the show anymore? Fire her ass. Think she's blind or in collusion in a marriage to a man on the down low? I'd agree with you.

But you don't collude to attack, denigrate, and destroy the career of a coworker while playing 'Miss Innocent'. It's tacky and wrong and doesn't play well on someone over the age of seventy.

Morning TV?



I hate to sound like I'm saying Elvis's pelvis or the Beatles moptops are going to be the end of civilization though, if you look back at what all's happened since, you could argue that position. Is morning TV, a 'family' news show, really an appropriate place for the Pussycat Dolls, bumping, grinding, and lyrics like 'dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me'?

I did notice that they had on more clothes than usual...their luggage with their usual costumes was lost. In return for less skin before 9 AM we were treated to a discussion of their new underwear.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Perks?




So is sex with teenagers a job perk?

Judge hit with sex charges
By From news services
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 06/27/06 08:55 PM


A Milledgeville lawyer who serves as a municipal court judge and prosecutor was released on $75,000 bond after he was arrested on charges of having sex with teenage girls.

Jon Philip Carr, 53, a municipal court judge in Ivey and McIntyre and a prosecutor for Milledgeville Municipal Court, was released Monday and is charged with six counts of child molestation and four counts of statutory rape, said Baldwin County Sheriff Bill Massee.

Carr was arrested at his Milledgeville office Sunday and could not be reached for comment Tuesday. The 13- and 14-year-old alleged victims escaped from Project Adventure, a halfway house for troubled youth in Baldwin County, Massee said.

The girls then stayed with Michelle Bridges, 21, in Milledgeville. Bridges introduced them to Carr and is now charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, Massee said.
A tip about the girls’ location led authorities to Bridges’ house Saturday night. The girls then said Carr had sex with them, Massee said.

In May, another Middle Georgia municipal court judge was accused of misconduct with teenage girls. Judge Aurelio Enrique Abreu, 51, was accused of giving alcohol to two 16-year-old girls in a private home, He was suspended from his job not long after being charged.

Just Hush



I've always had a theory that women decide the second they meet a guy whether they're willing to have sex with him. What determines whether it happens or not is if the guy says or does something stupid before the deal is closed.

It's the same with politicians. We're in the middle of a primary fight and the negative ads are making me check people off my list. Most of them start well but they just keep talking.

"My opponent doesn't support private property rights" ...Eek! Maybe I should consider this guy? "And I believe in faith in government" ...SCRATCH!

"My opponent was dishonest" ...Well, maybe? ... "And she was against mandatory sentencing. That means she doesn't want criminals in jail" ...Or maybe it means she has a lick of sense and realizes that mandatory sentencing is stupid?

How about somebody tell me what they're going to do instead of something nasty about their opponent. Someone other than the "I'm going to run our state the way the good lord wants" Guy.

You Think?

"The majority of fireworks injuries are suffered by children."

You think?

Isn't that like saying the majority of leg shaving accidents are suffered by women?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

One Last Kitty


The last refuge from kittens was breeched last night when Brick brought the kitten to bed. The dog and I were not happy.

When I mentioned this to Brick he responded with "A kitten that's never been alone can't sleep by himself."

I take it that's a swipe at my taking the Mama and sisters to the Pound yesterday?

As much as Brick would have liked it, I wasn't willing to commit to 15 years with 4 cats because a neighborhood stray picked our house to have her litter (Brick feeding every stray in the neighborhood probably encouraged that). It might have been different if it hadn't been me doing all the work. Brick loves to play with them when he comes home but the three times a day litter box cleaning, twice a day sweeping, and all day picking up that (originally) six cats create was all on me. One I can handle. One I can maintain and afford. Six?

So I tried to find homes, tried to place them with full up Humane organizations, tried to give them away at Walmart and still couldn't place the girls and the Mama. I hope the shelter can find them good homes but an overcrowded house, a stressed out caregiver, a largely absent owner, and insufficient money for that many vet bills is not a good home no matter how much canned food we feed them.

"At The Top Of Their Game"


One of the headlines in Sunday's paper...that was delivered this morning.

Print newspapers are a declining enterprise. Taking three days to deliver won't help.

Why do people still read print papers? Custom, habit, coupons, and the sales papers. No matter how up-to-date the information provided, online still hasn't figured out a way to let the average user know what's on sale at Kroger, Best Buy, and CVS.

So, basically, I'm paying to have ads delivered to my house.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Father's Day Delayed



Zelda and Brick are off for their belated Father's Day celebration. It took twenty years to convince Brick that Father-Daughter dinners were a good idea but I think he's finally warming up to the concept.

I still remember the times my Dad would take me out to dinner when I was a little girl. After forty years those are still some of my strongest and fondest memories.

Left Too Late


I swear I'm never taking my clothes off in front of a new man ever again. At least not one without a medical degree. Brick's stuck with me for life cause, after viewing my post menopausal, nursed two children boobies in the mirror this morning I'm done. Drag out the cookie recipes, buy an apron, and start pestering the kids for grandchildren.

There are windows of opportunity in life and sometimes we let them slip on by until it's too late.

I thought you were the answer
To all of my despair
And you almost had me six feet down
But I'm still breathin' air
Cause you're not my god
And you're not my friend
You're not the one that I will walk with in the end
You're not the truth
You're a temporary shot
You ruin people's lives and you don't give a second thought
You're not my god
From the cradle to the grave
Temptations all around
But no matter how good the fix
It's gonna take you down
Now some call it a weakness
Some call it a sin
But it's all the same behind each game
I see your evil grin

Sunday, June 25, 2006

PostSecret of the Week



Don't we all?

Saturday, June 24, 2006


People sleep peaceable in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violent things on their behalf

Maintaining Moral Authority


I heard a story this week of a teenage girl who found out that her parents have been lying to her for years. She's adopted and they decided that being dishonest was the way to handle things.

Because things like this never come out.

The daughter reacts badly and acts out a little so the parents have her examined for drug use and to see if she's still a virgin (she wasn't using drugs and she was still...pure). Let's just throw some gasoline on that raging fire.

Since it's too late to be honest from the beginning, why not sit down and have an honest discussion instead of tying the kid down to an examination table and prodding her should be private parts.

Princess Janet


To quote Sheila: "And they call me a slut!"

Tommy Gavin asked the first question that popped into my mind when I found out his estranged wife Janet was sleeping with his brother: "How long has this been going on?"

The answer: Over twenty years. Since High School.

The reaction: Icky, violent rape/rough sex on a couch.

So after lying to her husband for twenty years while sleeping with his brother, Janet will now be lying to the brother/her boyfriend while sleeping with her husband. Status quo maintained. Everyone's happy.

At least till that nasty case of chlamydia shows up next week.

Someone want to explain to me that monogamy works again?

At Least the Taxpayer's Got Their Money's Worth




Let's talk about the Criminal Justice Degree Scam.

Ever wonder why you see so many ads for Criminal Justice Degree programs popping up all over the place? Wonder how someone can train to be a cop online?

Truth is, most of the people obtaining Criminal Justice Degrees have no intention of ever working in law enforcement. A Hundred Thousand New Cops on the Street my ass.

The program pays books, tuition, childcare, and a stipend for going to school to 'become a police officer'. This translates to a welfare program where a lot mothers attend school occasionally, have their daycare provided, it doesn't cost them anything, they get some spending money, and when they do show up for class they spend their time discussing ways to get over on the system. Going to school is not a way to train for a career. Going to school itself is a Mommy Job. One mother, who brought her children to class about 12 days last quarter (their classes and my classes intersect), spent most of her time bitching about late grant checks because she wanted the money for an appointment to get her roots dyed.

Today a woman who has a criminal justice degree and no sense at all, boasted about how she knew the law but had no intention of ever using her degree. All I could think was: "Thank goodness. The thought of someone as stupid as you walking around with a loaded weapon is too scary to contemplate."

The effect of all of this is that CRJs are rapidly becomming not worth the sheepskin they're printed on. Which sucks for people who do want to work in law enforcement.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

The New Gong Show


This show is so much fun! Animal acts, jugglers, singers, comics, magicians, fingersnappers. Even Hasselhoff is not horrible.

Scary Skinny


Kelly Ripa has been skinny for awhile but her new Tide commercial is downright scary. She's a beautiful woman but as she's making faces extolling the virtues of the new Tide eraser pen she looks like a freakin skeleton.

Cake Man


Cake Man: A married man who is just in it for the sex; as in, 'Wants to have his cake nd eat it too.'




People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

America in 2026

America in 2026
By BOB HERBERT

Have we become too selfish and cynical? Or is the U.S. — despite being shaken by terror and distressed by the unending conflict in Iraq — ready to roll up its sleeves and renew its commitment to some of the goals and themes that once formed the basis of the American dream?

John Edwards is betting on the latter. In a major speech today at the National Press Club in Washington, Mr. Edwards, the former North Carolina senator who was John Kerry's running mate in the 2004 presidential election, will ask:

"What kind of America do we want — not just today, but 20 years from now? And how do we think we can get there from here?"

It's a speech that's different from the poll-tested, freeze-dried political pap we've come to expect from politicians. For one thing, Mr. Edwards, who's part of the growing pack of Democratic marathoners seeking the party's 2008 nomination, wrote it himself. For another, he unfashionably (and unabashedly) appeals to the better angels of the electorate.

"It's wrong," he says, "to have 37 million Americans living in poverty, separated from the opportunities of this country by their income, their housing, their access to education and jobs and health care — just as it was wrong that we once lived in a country legally separated by race."

In an echo of the can-do spirit that was characteristic of the post-World War II period, Mr. Edwards asserts that with the proper leadership, the United States can "restore the moral core and legitimacy that has been the foundation of our influence" abroad, while at the same time tackling tough issues here at home: poverty, the need for greater energy independence and a fairer shake for all Americans who have to work for a living, including "the forgotten middle class."

In his draft of the speech (and in a telephone interview yesterday), Mr. Edwards said that at least 40,000 American troops should be brought home from Iraq immediately, and further reductions should continue steadily, "so that the Iraqis can take control over their own lives."

He says, at the top of the speech, that "our military power is fortunately strong, and we must keep it that way." But he also says, "I want to live in an America that has not sacrificed individual liberties in the name of freedom; where, in the fight to preserve the country we love, we do not sacrifice the country we love; where we don't make excuses for violating civil rights, though we understand that the test of liberty is in the moments when such excesses almost sound reasonable."

Since leaving the Senate, Mr. Edwards has served as the director of the Center on Poverty, Work and Opportunity at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He believes the number of Americans in poverty can be cut by a third over the next 10 years, and that the U.S. should work toward the complete elimination of poverty over the next three decades.

He will say in the speech that one of the reasons so many working Americans remain trapped in poverty is that work often doesn't pay enough. "A single mom with two kids who works full time for the minimum wage is about $2,700 below the poverty line," he says. "In 2005, while corporate profits were up 13 percent, real wages fell for most workers."

He believes, as do most Democrats, that the minimum wage must be raised, and that many more workers should be given a real opportunity to organize and bargain collectively. "Unions helped move manufacturing jobs into the foundation of our middle class," he says, "and they can do the same for our service economy."

He also believes — and this is certain to be controversial — that federal housing policy needs to be overhauled and a greater effort made "to integrate our neighborhoods economically."

"If conservatives really believed in markets," he says, "they'd join us in a more radical and more sensible solution: creating one million more housing vouchers for working families over the next five years. Done right, vouchers can enable people to vote with their feet to demand safe communities with good schools."

To remake American society in a way that is broadly beneficial (and that re-establishes our prestige and influence abroad) will require not just leadership, but sacrifice — something that is seldom asked of most Americans — and a real commitment to working together to solve the nation's biggest challenges.

However one feels about his specific proposals, it's worth paying attention to the fact that Mr. Edwards is asking Americans to step up and meet that commitment.

Seventy?!


How can he be seventy? I feel so freakin old!

He was the only reason worth sitting through A Star Is Born (about a hundred times).

I have a picture around here somewhere of him backstage at a concert in North Carolina in the Seventies. He turned and grinned and the lighting was perfect. A great shot.

Till I Can Make It On My Own


I'll need time to get you off my mind
and I may sometimes bother you
try to be in touch with you
even ask too much of you
from time to time.
Now and then
Lord, you know I'll need a friend
till I get used to losing you
let me keep on using you
till I can make it on my own.
I'll get by but no matter how I try
there'll be times you know I'll call
chances are, my tears will fall
and I'll have no pride at all
from time to time.
But they say
oh, there'll be a brighter day
but till then I lean on you
that's all I mean to do
till I can make it on my own.
Surely, someday I'll look up
and see the morning sun
without another lonely night behind me
then I'll know I'm over you
and all my crying's done
no more hurting memories can find me.
But till then ...
Lord, you know, I'm gonna need a friend
till I get used to losing you ...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Hmmmm


James Blunt's 'You're Beautiful' Song Brings Girl Out Of Coma

Did she wake up because that was the only way she could shut off the damn song?

It's not that it's a bad song. I liked it the first thousand times I heard it. It's just been played to death and it's time to take it off the rotation and give it a rest.

And you can take 'Had A Bad Day' with it.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Oh, We Got Trouble...



Lack of support among the grandmothers I know wasn't really surprising. I know some liberal Grannies. But when 65-year-old conservative religious Grannies from Georgia start saying we shouldn't be in Iraq, Bush has lost the hearts and minds at home.

Cute Overload of the Day

The Booby Prize


Many months have passed us by
I'm gonna miss you, I can't lie
I've got ties, and so do you
I just think this is the thing to do
It's gonna hurt me, I can't lie
Maybe you'll meet, you'll meet another guy
Understand me, won't you try, try, try, try, try, try, try
Let's just kiss and say goodbye

Waiting


When going to the doctor's, it's not the high cost, the substandard treatment, the lack of reading material in the waiting room that gets to me. It's the wait. With military medicine you expect to wait. Hurry up and wait is institutional but the care is free so there's a reason to not complain. Lately I have seen longer waiting times at civilian doctor's offices than I ever saw for appointments in the military.

Today I waited over an hour for an appoint with an OB/GYN before I gave up and left. I was just mildly irritated until I noticed the sign in sheet as I was leaving and noticed that someone who arrived after me, with an appointment a half hour after mine, had been checked off the list and was in seeing the doctor. The office personel wanted to reschedule. I told them I'd get back to them.

The practice has a great set up. On site mammograms and ultrasounds but is the convenience worth it? If this were an isolated incident, yes, but it's not.

I'm thinking I need to wait for the mammogram results then research a new practice with the convenience and without the problems.

PostSecret of the Week


Speaking of forgiving but making them suffer awhile first.

June Bugs and Kittens


I don't have a green thumb. I know my gardening limitations so I don't attempt anything too difficult. I'll never try to grow orchids. I pick a few hardy, impossible to kill plants and appreciate them for hanging in there.

And then I let a stray have a batch of kittens in my house.

They have shredded my aloe, smushed my spider plant, and torn apart that green climby thing.

Meanwhile, outside, the june bugs are munching through my rose bushes.

Two Faces Have I


Does everyone have a false face they present to the world? And do they all know it's false or do some people actually believe this crap?

I don't trust a lot of people. It would be more accurate to say there are some people I distrust less than others. So how would I react if one of the trusted (least distrusted) few betrayed me?

It wouldn't all be forgiven and done within 24 hours.

Do some people have such a need to present themselves as forgiving to the world that they will excuse anything? Or is that how they need to see themselves? Or are they so terrified of being alone that they will excuse any betrayal to keep a person in their life?

That one I can understand. But I'd at least make them suffer for awhile before I forgave them.

To Sleep...


perchance to dream.

There are few things as blissful as a good nap. When the day gets hot and muggy, a break in a cool, dark room wrapped in crisp cotton sheets refreshes and renews.

A Woman's Heart


Is like a bank vault.

Once she takes you in, you're sheltered and protected. But when you're out, the door slams shut and there's no way back.

It's Pancake Day!



I don't mind getting a mammogram. It's physically painless. But I always feel like I'm trying to waltz with monster. Bend this way. Twist that way. Dip. Stretch. Wrapping my arms around cold metal.

So I go once a year, try to not giggle too much, and get it over with.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Bad News Travels Fast

Why is it easy for me to complain and so hard to talk about the good things.

I used to tell Merv everything about my life. I didn't feel that I was betraying my marriage. It was a train wreck and I refuse to hide problems.

Maybe that's it. I will not present a facade of happiness when none exists. I can openly and honestly declare my discontent. It's my content that I can't bring myself to talk about. That seems private, fragile, precious and I'm protective as hell of it. I don't know how to say 'I'm happy. Things are going well. He's listening. I'm being heard.'

It feels like I'm bragging. I feel foolish that I'm so hopeful. I don't want to jinx it. I just want to enjoy it as long as it lasts.

Prince Albert

I've never liked Al Gore. He's always reminded me of a specific type: The Southern Prince. Wealthy, overbred, entitled, condescending. So I went to see An Inconvenient Truth with an attitude.

I was impressed.

I had a hard time swallowing all the shots of him trudging through airports alone on his quest. He still seems like an entourage guy to me. But the message of the movie made even a skeptic like me want to rethink things.

Beary Interesting


It's spring, the season for bearlove, so black bears have been coming down out of the hills and into populated areas. And where do these hormonal young males go? The mall.

Seems even adolescent bears know the mall is the place to go to hook up.

Beautiful Women



I always thought Nancy Addison was a beautiful woman. Her character of Jillian Coleridge on Ryan's Hope was smart, accomplished, independent, and sexy. She was one of the first 'liberated' heroines on daytime television.

Soapnet is replaying Ryan's Hope. Unfortunately they're airing it at 5:30 in the morning (thank god for Tivo!). The episodes there playing now are from a period when Jillian was at her most attractive. She just sparkled.

I watch her with a bit of sadness because she is long gone but she was incredible.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Speed Dial

I put things off when school is in session so I end up with a pile of ToDo. Today I tackled the pile.

I've now scheduled four Dr's appointments and made two business calls.

Not bad for an hour's work.

The Most Annoying Character on a Soap


"Todd You will listen to me!!!"

I can understand a woman's frustration with a man who won't listen but this character takes it to such an unattractive extreme I may never attempt to make a guy listen again.

It's an act that should be used rarely and Blair Cramer has done it about once a week for the last month.

First her husband is about to be executed by the state and is having his last visit with their children before lethal injection. The kids are crying and traumatized and their mother, upset because her husband doesn't want to talk to her (How dare he get upset at her having an affair with the man who framed him for murder and encouraging their children to call the new boyfriend 'Daddy'?) bangs on the door to the room they're in, screaming 'You have to talk to me, Todd!" Because, what's additional trauma to your kids and ruining the last few minutes they'll ever spend with their father compared to your getting your way?

Then she shows up (with the boyfriend) and stands at the glass observation window while her husband receives the lethal injection, demanding he pay attention to her. She has no idea why her husband's sister and attorney are upset at the boyfriend's presence.

Miraculously the husband is brought back from the dead (if I were married to that woman there is no way in Hell I would come back from the light) and ever since she's been pitching a fit at the hospital, demanding to be seen, heard, allowed in his room, barging into exam rooms since she's been banned from his private room. Because, what's letting the man have a couple of days peace to recover from being dead (if not totally completely dead) compared to Blair getting what she wants now, right now!!

You gotta have priorities.

Cute Overload


Cuteoverload.com

I need to get my quilting out.

White Trash on Parade



Dear Lord, someone hold an intervention...NOW!

When major interviews like this are done the subject has professional hair and makeup. This is the best that could be done?

So we have overbleached, overblonde hair; harsh, heavy, unflattering make up; a tacky ill-fitting outfit that looks like her stylist selected it at WallyWorld; and she's hunched and slumped over like a south Georgian unwed mother waiting for food stamp approval at DFACS.

Is all her money gone? Is there no one responsible who cares enough about her to take her aside and tell her the truth? Does this girl have any kind of mother?

What A Woman Needs


1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Big Mac Attack


No, I'm not.

This morning around 2 a.m. I get a craving for a Big Mac Meal. Today I go to the 'good' MacDonalds, cause in my hometown the quality and cleanliness at Mickey Ds is definitely hit and miss. The good MacDonalds is at WallyWorld so I figured I'd get a bite to eat and buy some extra muslin strips for the upcoming waxing fiasco.

I should have known there was a problem when I was the 8th person in line/waiting for their order at 2:30 in the afternoon but this was the 'good' MacDonalds. How bad could it be?

I really need to stop asking myself that question.

After I placed my order and paid my money, the manager announces to the employee sitting on the floor behind the counter and everyone on the customer side of the counter, that she needs to go to the bathroom and she needed the employee to take over at the counter.

The employee told her 'No', she was busy and wasn't going to stop what she was doing. She was busy sorting through the pancake syrup, something of enormous importance in the middle of the afternoon.

So the manager gets an employee from the line and tries to teach her how to run the register and fill the eight orders on the screen. Four groups of people are now waiting to order, eight of us are waiting for our orders, the Employee of the Month is sorting through the salt and pepper packets, spilling them into the walkway and leaving them there, and the food is piling up and sitting, getting colder and going nowhere.

Thirty-five minutes after I paid for my order, the employee handed it to me. I asked for Hot Mustard to use on my fries instead of ketchup and she demanded 21 cents.

"You want 21 cents for a condiment to eat with my cold fries after I had to wait over a half hour for my order?"

"Yes" she said.

I took my order and my empty cup, put it in the garbage, and walked out the door.

Smart Move


I thought product liabilty concerns made corporations so cautious, shit like this didn't happen anymore?

It all started with razor burn.

Trying to keep neat and tidy in a private area was causing more problems than it was solving and I can't stand the smell of dipilatories so I decided to try waxing. I let everything grow out and found a box of Surgi Wax Brazilian Bikini Wax at WallyWorld. It was messy and it was hard to keep the hard wax at the correct temperature but it worked great and didn't really hurt. So I decided my legs and underarms would enjoy waxing too.

They don't have the same kind of wax for legs. Since it's such a big area the company that made a great hard wax has a cold wax rollon with cloth strips.

Oh well..different process but great company! What could possibly go wrong?

First, the roll on wax doesn't just roll on. It hurt more trying to get the wax to 'glide' on than it hurt to rip the hairs out of my hoohah a couple of weeks ago. I tried warming it with my hands. I tried warming it with the light bulb. I tried warming it by setting it in a sink of hot water. Nada. By then I was too tired to mess with it anymore, decided to put it up and try again another day.

So during this process, I've been letting the hair on my legs and underarms grow so it would be long enough for the wax to work...which means I've been wearing long pants in Georgia in June. Back to going wrong...

Today I was going to warm the 'cold' wax in the microwave. The instructions said to do that if the hands, water, etc didn't work. The instructions didn't mention how long one should microwave the product so I figured 15 seconds.

I grabbed the bottle, the hot wax came out of top, scalding all the fingers on my right hand (1st and 2nd degree burns). I tossed the bottle away, onto my kitchen table, ruining the tablecloth and not making the table look too good either, and started running cold water over my fingers.

After all this, and soaking my hand in a glass of ice water, I decided I should at least do my legs.

The stuff didn't even work well! And within 5 minutes of starting, the wax was once again too cold to roll.

I gave up and tossed the remainder (this must be my day for tossing things away).

So now I have a burned hand, hairy legs, hairy underarms, and I think I still have some wax on my big toe.

At least I won't be able to wash dishes for about a week.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Sacred Cows


These four women are not '9/11 Widows'. There are four of many and criticizing them, rightly or wrongly, is not criticizing them all.

My only question is, are the people who insist on misrepresenting Coulter's statements, tacky and inflamatory as they were, aware that they are mischaracterizing her comments and do they realize they're proving her point?

Need You Around


If I could see into your heart
Then would I know just where to start?
Because I'm lost and I need to be found
Crazy as it sounds
I need you around
If I could stand to be on my own
Then I would probably just leave you alone
But I'm gonna feel this way till I'm six feet underground
Crazy as it sounds
I need you around
Turning, tossing and turning
My love is burning me down
If I could change one thing in this world
I'd change your mind and make you my girl
Because I'm lost and I need to be found
Crazy as it sounds
I need you around

Daughters


Daughters are wonderful things.

I get a call tonight from Zelda asking a factual question. I tell her she's been given wrong information and, through the phone, I hear her turn to someone and say "No way. My Mom says 'No' and my Mom's never wrong!"

Damn I wish I had a recording of that to play back sometime.

I'm starting to realize I was a not-horrible Mom. I spend a lot of time around young mothers and I'll mention things that were standard when I was raising the kids and they look at me like I'm from another planet.

Your two year old is not being willful and disobedient at 11pm. She's tired. She needs sleep, not punishment.

You want a good relationship with your child? Make them an integral part of your life. Cook with them. Clean with them. Talk with them while you do those things and listen to what they have to say without telling them they're wrong. They'll always be comfortable talking with you and you won't be wondering what they're up to when they're sixteen.

You're not their friend. You're their Mother. You make the rules. You set policy. You aren't their buddy, their pal, or their playmate. And they're not your confidant. Deal with your own problems. They aren't here to make you feel better, even if they often do.

Be honest always. Never lie even if you have to give a five year old level explanation sometimes.

Be age appropriate. Don't treat your twenty year old like she's twelve.

And love them. Love them more than anyone and anything else.

What Is Love?


I love you whether or not you love me
I love you even if you think that I dont
Sometimes I find you doubt my love for you, but I dont mind
Why should I mind, why should I mind
What is love anyway, does anybody love anybody anyway
What is love anyway, does anybody love anybody anyway
Can anybody love anyone so much that they will never fear
Never worry never be sad
The answer is they cannot love this much nobody can
This is why I dont mind you doubting
And maybe love is letting people be just what they want to be
The door always must be left unlocked
To love when circumstance may lead someone away from you
And not to spend the time just doubting

Madam Is The Greatest Star Of Them All


I love this movie. Probably because I identify with Joe Gillis.

Cynical? Check. Not living up to one's promise? Check. Willing to take the easy way out? Check. Sarcastic and capable of cruelty? Check, check.

As I get older, Norma Desmond is making more sense to me. 50?! The character was fifty and she is treated as if she's ancient. Ok, so maybe 50 in 1950 is the same as 70 today but good lord.

And Max? The man who begs to stay in his exwife's life, even if it's only as a servant, so he can protect her.

The first awareness I remember of Norma Desmond is from the Carol Burnett Show. I learned to love old movies from her spoofs of them. I remember the ridiculous lengths Max would go to trying to protect Madam. I wanted a Max.

And I guess I got one.