Two Computers All Waiting

Trying to get things done for school, I've spent the morning switching between the two computers: one is faster but the other is hooked to the printer. Since the only connection we have is Dial up, neither is getting anything done quickly.

Can't wait for the new computer and the cable installer!

Drunken Ramblings

He used to be so cute.

I've seen a lot of DUI arrests over the years. I used to process incident reports where everything the DUI suspect said after initial contact was repeated. I've seen a lot of videotaped arrests. Most of what Mel Gibson said is pretty standard.

Do you know who am I? Check

I'll have your job. Check

Sugar Tits. Check

Drunks are beligerent and obnoxious and chatty.

The anti-semitic stuff? Never heard anything like that in thirty years.

I've heard plenty of black/white comments (You're only arresting me because I'm black/white. Help a brother out. You're an Uncle Tom. Yada yada) but that has to do with who the arresting officer is. It's not some random out there conspiracy bullshit that has nothing to do with what's occuring.

But...You're the Oldest!

One of the probelms with returning to college after the world's longest year off after high school is that I'm going to school with people the same age as my children.

It's interesting enough when I find myself in class with Zach and Zelda's former classmates. It's worse when they realize I'm the same age as their Moms and expect me to be in charge.

I don't want to be in charge. I'm not any good at it. I have no talent for it. I don't have time for it. If I'd wanted to ride herd on six kids, I'd have had six kids. But I find myself with the 'What do you think we should do, Miss Maggie? When do you think we should meet, Miss Maggie? Will you let everyone else know, Miss Maggie?'

Miss Maggie?!

I think they want me to set a time and demand they all show up. It ain't happening.

Now to figure out how to teach six tech savvy kids that they too can hit the reply all button on their email.

PostSecret of the Week

Ahhh the exit fuck.

I've seen it used more as a way out of relationships than revenge when it's all over. I've known so many women who have screwed around on their husbands and been forgiven until they have sex with the one type of person the husband can't forgive. Affair after affair; we'll work it out, Baby. One black man, you Bitch!

I did know one woman whose 'Unforgivable' was a woman. A lot of men would be intrigued, turned on, or indifferent, but she knew who she was dealing with. Her husband was livid. She had struck at his core.

That's all these exit fucks are about anyway. It's what people do when they want out desperately, nothing else has worked, and for whatever reason they can't or won't end it themselves.

No one knows how to destroy you like the people that love you. No one else gets that close, knows your secrets, knows your fears.

I'm So Tired

Here I stand, the goddess of Desire

Set men on fire

I have this power

Morning noon and night it's drink and dancing

Some quick romancing

And then a shower

Stage door johnnies always surround me

They always hound me

With one request

Who can satisfy their lustful habits

I'm not a rabbit

I need some rest

I'm tired

Sick and tired of love

I've had my fill of love

From below and above

Tired, tired of being admired

Tired of love uninspired

Let's face it I'm tired

I've been with 1000's of men

Again and again

They promise the moon

They always coming and going

Going and coming

And always too soon

Right girls?

I'm tired,

Tired of playing the game

Ain't it a crying shame

I'm so tired

God dammit I'm exhausted

Tired, tired of playing the game

Ain't it a crying shame

I'm so tired

[Soldiers:] She's tired (She's tired)

Sick and tired of love (Give her a break)

She's had her fill of love (She's not a snake)

From bellow and above (Can't you see she's sick)

Tired (She's bushed)

Tired of being admired (Let her alone)

Tired of love uninspired (Get off the phone)

She's tired (Don't you know she's pooped)

I've been with 1000's of men

Again and again

They sing the same tune

They start with Byron and Shelly

And jump on your belly

And bust your ballon

Aye!

Tired, tired of playing the game

Ain't it a freakin' shame

I'm so...

Let's face it everything below the waist is kapput!

[Soldiers:] Tired!

How

do people with jobs do it?

I just finished transcribing ten, count them TEN, pages of lecture notes from one class, I have to research and write a speech and design a visual presentation to go with it for a second, and I have a group project with a MIA group for a third.

I'm one of the lucky ones. My kids are grown and on their own. My husband makes a great living for both of us and is amazingly understanding when I have my head buried in a textbook and he asks what's for supper and gets the response 'Whatever you can find in the freezer' (Thank you Lean Cuisine!!)

The Things Women Will Do...

to keep their Number from going up.

So maybe I'm the last person who needs to be talking about boomerang relationships since Brick and I are on another newlywed phase but how many times is Pam Anderson going to bounce between the same two guys? Is it just to keep her Number from going up?

Tommy Lee--KidRock--Tommy Lee--Kid Rock...

Is it that these guys are so special (not that I see it) or she just doesn't know how to move on? I'd hate to think it was that she doesn't want to get a bad reputation because after half the planet has seen your sex tape it's kind of late to worry about that.

Shoot the Messenger

Why is it with some groups it is acceptable to behave badly and ill-mannered to point it out?

The Right Thing

It's a miracle it doesn't happen more often.

The question I hear most often is: 'Why?'

Why did no one get her help? Why did no one protect those children? Why did they keep having child after child after child when there was an obvious problem?

There is still a stigma with mental illness. Ministers tell their parishioners that if their faith was stronger, they would be better. God would fix them. People are told they're being invaded by Satan. That they should buck up, grow up, act right, what will the neighbors think.

Unless we get past those attitudes, it's going to happen again.

I Hate To Break It To You

but you're gay.

You may not realize it, but you are. I'll take you at your word that there has never been a physical relationship. You're still gay.

It's not that you are 'strong, black women'. It's not that the world doesn't understand. The world may understand better than you do.

You have been the only constants in one anothers' lives for 30 years. It's not that you're constants, it's the only part.

You talk to each other four times a day. I've been married 30 years. I may talk to my husband four times a day and we have to work to accomplish that sometimes. I adore my children; don't talk to them four times a day. Is there anyone else you have managed to talk to four times a day for 30 years?

The clincher for me is the comment that if one of you was a man, you'd get married.

Oprah, I know you've heard of emotional affairs. You've done shows on them. You're in one. You may not realize that's what it is. Sometimes heterosexuals in emotional affairs don't realize it either, but you are. And if a person's life partner, and after 30 years that's a life partner, is someone of the same sex, they're gay.

Even if they never make it physical. Even if they never realize it.

They just are.

It's Called A 'Joke'

'Jeopardy' Champ Ken Jennings Blasts Show

NEW YORK — "Jeopardy!" ace Ken Jennings, who won $2.5 million during his 74-game winning streak, has a few unkind words to say about the show — and dapper host Alex Trebek.

"I know, I know, the old folks love him," Jennings writes in a recent posting, titled "Dear Jeopardy!" on his Web site.

"Nobody knows he died in that fiery truck crash a few years back and was immediately replaced with the Trebektron 4000 (I see your engineers still can't get the mustache right, by the way)."

Jennings also takes aim at the show's "effete, left-coast" categories and "same-old" format.

"You're like the Dorian Gray of syndication," he says. "You seem to think `change' means replacing a blue polyethylene backdrop with a slightly different shade of blue polyethylene backdrop every presidential election or so."

A call by The Associated Press to "Jeopardy!" spokesman Jeff Ritter was not immediately returned Tuesday.

Jennings, a software engineer from Salt Lake City, snagged 74 wins on "Jeopardy!" in 2004 before he was beaten by challenger Nancy Zerg.

Trebek, 66, has hosted the show since 1984. In a "correction" posted Monday on his Web site, Jennings offers an apology of sorts.

"We regret the insinuation that Mr. Alex Trebek is a robot, and has been since 2004. Mr. Trebek's robotic frame does still contain some organic parts, many harvested from patriotic Canadian schoolchildren, so this technically makes him a `cyborg,' not a `robot.'"

Doesn't this qualify as fond teasing not 'blasting'? And he has a point; Jeopardy never really changes much. It's still basically the same show I watched as a child forty years ago. Which is what I, and many others like about it.

Maggie's Drama of the Day

The kitten runs underneath feet and he ran underneath mine yesterday and, unlike every other time, this time when I slid the foot to avoid stepping on him he went with it.. No vets on Sunday so I was frantic and showed up with him when they opened this morning.

He has a 'degloving injury'. When his little face slid along the carpet the skin came loose on his chin. They're cleaning it out, stiching him up, and pumping him full of antibiotics and he'll be fine but I'm still shaken by 24 hours of worrying myself sick that I broke his jaw and Brick (who has stepped on him numerous times too) saying things like "You need to look where you're going" in a voice that could freeze boiling water. Since he knows I still feel guilty over a squirrel that committed suicide under my car tires 15 years ago, he really needs to lay off.

Maybe There's a Message?

Marriage proposal ends in plane crash
Couple survives, now looking for engagement ring

The Associated Press
Published on: 07/24/06

ROME — The marriage proposal that ended with a plane crash began with the bride-to-be thinking she was going on a date to the movies.

But Adam Sutton, 19, had other plans.

He had convinced his high school sweetheart, Erika Brussee, 18, to take a chartered flight around the Rome area Friday. And Sutton's plan included having family members hold up a sign asking Brussee to marry him.

"He convinced me that it was a last-minute thing, that his dad knew someone who could fly us around Rome," Brussee said. "I had no idea."

Sutton had arranged for family members to stand on the ground below the plane's flight path holding up a tarp with the proposal written on it.

"(The tarp) was upside down when we went around, but I saw the word 'marry.' Then I saw my mom waving at me, and then I knew what was happening."

But her glee was short-lived. The planed crashed at the Richard B. Russell Regional Airport.

"It didn't even register in our mind that we'd crashed, Sutton said. "I was looking at her and was going to get the ring out, and then — just impact."
Brussee said she was too preoccupied to pay attention to their situation.

"I was just ecstatic that he was asking me," she said. "I just turned to look at him and that's when we crashed."

"I knew something wasn't right when we first hit," said Sutton. "I saw that the front was on fire."

"I do remember the fire, but other than that I don't remember much of it," Brussee said. "I just remember that it hurt, and that we were just banging around."

After Sutton got Brussee off the plane, he went back to check on the pilot, who was unconscious.

"I grabbed his arm, pulled him towards me," Sutton said. "I pulled him out as best I could, got him on the ground, and dragged him as far as I could. That's when my dad showed up. I handed him off to him, and I just collapsed on the ground."

The family has been told the crash was probably caused by the combination of the plane's low speed and altitude.

The newly engaged pair was treated and released at Floyd Medical Center and the pilot, Bradley Gilbert of Lawrenceville, underwent surgery.

Meanwhile, the couple has other important business to attend to.

"Get a ring," Brussee said.

The original ring was lost in the crash, though the box it was in has been found. The family suspects that it's still on the plane somewhere, but they won't be able to look for it until federal officials finish their investigation later this week.

PostSecret of the Week

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Normal people, evil acts.

Is it that all of us are capable of evil but it takes special circumstances to flower or do we all do evil things all the time and get a pass for most of them?

It’s not that people like Nazis are all that different. Their evil is just less socially acceptable.

Look at the typical American family and the evil that gallops through in the name of love. People swear an oath before god to love and cherish one another and when it’s time for a divorce the knives come out and it’s not viewed as evil or a betrayal or even a social faux pas. Spousal abuse, child abuse, all explained away. That’s the way things are. People lose their tempers. Emotions get the better of folks. As long as it’s not taken to extremes, it’s accepted or society actively colludes in hiding it which is, in effect acceptance.

These Wilder Years

Preachy, sermonistic, dated...but damn it's great to see Cagney and Stanwyck together.

Communication Anxiety

My Ass.

I have to give a speech today. I have practiced it over 10 times and haven't gotten though it once without choking and wanting to throw up. And, if I survive this one, I get to give four more.

So everything in life is a choice. What are mine? I can go to class even though I'm conpletely panicked, possibly throw up in front of a couple dozen people, make a total fool of myself, embarass myself and my family, and survive it or I drop out of school, give up my goals, plans, and hopes, and just quit.

There really is no in between. I have to take the class to graduate. If I drop the class now it won't be any easier later, it will be harder, and later would require me to attend school an extra quarter.

So if today is a complete disaster? Ok, when today is a complete disaster. I survive. Unless that inevitable heart attack decides to have fortunate timing.

Like in the next 90 minutes.

Not This Week

Not this week. This week Ralph Reed was soundly defeated in the primary to select the Republican candidate for Lt. Governor.

We Want Your Business!

No, you don't.

Marriott announces that all of their hotels will be non-smoking.

That's their choice. It's my choice to never give them any of my money ever again.

Sweet Squash?

I really did plan to be good. I was going to order a side salad. And then I saw that squash casserole came with the Reuben and fries at Three Dollar Cafe.

Squash casserole could go a long way to making the Karaoke caterwauling a little easier to bear.

The first sign that I may have found the only squash casserole I didn't like was that there was a melted slice of American cheese laid over the top of theserving bowl. But how bad could it be?

Squash casserole is one of those things that may have never been made exactly the same ever but they're always good. Different, but good. With or without onions, peppers, eggs, cheese, pimentoes, bread crumbs, cracker crumbs, one kind of squash or a variety, it's all good.

This wasn't good. It was sweet. It was so sweet it was like a squash cobbler with American cheese for a crust.

When the Server asked what I thought of it, I asked if she wanted an honest answer. There were a lot of new things on the menu and I thought it was something new they were trying and they wanted to know what customers thought about it.

According to the cook, people love their squash casserole and go there just to eat it. Well I didn't mean for it to become such a big deal and if there are people who like sweet squash they're welcome to mine and I thought people went there for the gazillion giant screen TVs showing sports. As Brick said, 'You don't go to a Sports bar looking for good squash.'

Bob Brooks, founder of Hooters, dies at 69
By AIXA M. PASCUAL
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 07/17/06

Robert H. Brooks, 69, founder of the Hooters restaurant chain, died Sunday morning at his home in Myrtle Beach, S.C.

The cause of death was not known, said Mike McNeil, vice president of marketing for the Atlanta-based Hooters of America Inc., the operator and franchiser of Hooters.

Brooks, who formerly lived in metro Atlanta for 30 years, flew to Atlanta every week to oversee his two companies, Hooters of America and Naturally Fresh Inc.

Brooks is survived by his wife Tami; son Coby, 37; and daughter Boni Belle, 7.

"He was just a wonderful man, a very giving man," said his brother-in law Jay Springs.......


Well I just bet he was. Having seen pictures, maybe he died of shame over the tragic eyejob?

Ok, so that was tacky but while I'm being tacky might as well go all out.

The names of the survivors tell a tale. Why am I not shocked that the founder of Hooters is married to a girl named 'Tami'. Wonder how old 'Tami' is? Somehow I'm doubting she's the mother of the 37-year-old and the 7-year-old. Is that even physically possible?

I could be completely wrong. Tami could be a dowdy 55-year-old in orthopedic shoes.

Nah......

The Sanctity of Marriage Part 28742094

Stone Mountain man kills wife in front of children
By SAEED AHMED
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 07/17/06

A man shot his common-law wife to death in front of his children Sunday afternoon, then took his own life while the kids ran to seek help, police said.

The couple had been fighting, and the woman had taken off with her children when the man jumped into her sport-utility vehicle as it pulled out of their house on Olde Scotland in Stone Mountain, DeKalb police said.

The man shot the woman, told the children to get out of the SUV, then killed himself while driving from the passenger?s seat, said police spokesman Jason Gagnon.

The three girls, ages 15, 12 and 6, ran to Belinda Staley?s door, screaming for help.

"The oldest kept saying, 'My daddy shot her, please don't let my mommy die," Staley said Sunday night.

While she was trying to calm the children down, she heard the second shot. The charcoal gray SUV came to rest on the side of the house, she said.

Police have not provided the identities of the man and woman.

The couple had a fourth child, a 14-year-old son who was at a sleepover at the time.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

People lie; behaviors don't. Let behavior over time speak for itself.

Repeat as needed.

I'm A Good Girl, I Am!

In the environment where Eliza Doolittle grew up, with a father ready to pimp her out, there is no way she was able to remain a 'good girl'.

Cute Overload of the Day

Run!!!

Picture of concession stand worker running from weekend crowds.

Driving up to the theater, you could see it; Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest was selling a lot of tickets. There were cars parked behind the theater, an area I had never seen cars in before.

The lobby was packed and there were signs at the ticket kiosk announcing the cancellation of another movie due to 'Technical Difficulties'. The 'Difficulties' were that the theater decided to run Pirates on two screens per scheduled showtime.

The Concession crew had a look of genuine panic in their eyes by the time we got to the counter. We ordered our large popcorn and large Diet Coke as I said encouraging things to the poor overworked girl who had just been treated badly by the group of moviegoers who had gone before.

Even with two theaters showing, the auditorium was packed.

So was the movie any good?

It wasn't horrible. There were some good moments, there were some slow spells, it set up the third movie. Isn't that what all second legs of planned trilogies do?

Let's Save Marriage!

I've had it all wrong. Those silly ideas about freedom, individuality, self determination. What was I thinking?!

Those people who are determined to keep gays from getting married to save marriage, they're right. But if we really value marriage, we aren't going far enough. If those bothersome gays have to give up full protection under the law for the greater good of preserving the institution of marriage, everyone else should have to make some sacrifices too.

No more divorce. It doesn't matter if you hate and despise one another. Nothing is more destructive of marriage than divorce so that has to be the first thing to go.

Put adulterers in prison. Those pesky privacy concerns don't matter when compared to the importance of the institution. So what if 70% of married people will have to be jailed. And, given the infidelity rates in law enforcement, I'm not sure who's going to arrest and guard all those people but those are all triffles.

Make birth control illegal. After all, the importance of one man/one woman is that they can procreate so the government should insure that all citizens procreate as much as possible. Sidenote: strong consideration should be given to banning anyone who can't certify their ability to reproduce from marrying. Any person practicing birth control should be jailed.

Women should be banned from working. It causes stress on the marriage and someone needs to take care of all those children that no birth control is going to create. Any woman attempting to work should be jailed.

Ban civil marriages. If we're going to run our government on religious principles, go all out and make sure all marriages are blessed by the god the majority chooses (crack down on immigration to insure that the 'right' majority stays the majority). Anyone attempting to marry someone while dressed like Elvis should be jailed.

Those are the basics. After that the government based on moral values can decide what size house we can live in (government studies can determine the optimum size and configuration to preserve marriage), what kind of cars we can drive (we'll need bigger vehicles with all those children), what kind of foods we can buy (the government should step in and mandate healthy eating habits by all) and whatever else the majority decides matters.

Down with individualism! Down with freedom! Down with the Constitution!

It's about preserving the important things.

Marrying Up

One online friend met another recently and described meeting the mutual friend and her family.

"All I can say is, her husband really married up."

I've thought about that a lot ever since. Our friend is gorgeous, sweet, and loving. The husband is an ordinary looking, blue collar guy. The thing is, he adores her. He treats her like gold. He thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world to have her and their children and treats them accordingly.

The friend who was not impressed is also married. Her husband is attractive and successful. He's also an abusive asshole.

Who married up?

If I had two choices: a guy who wasn't great looking but he loved me or a guy who had all the 'right' attributes and treated me like garbage, I'm going for the plain guy every time.

The Ties That Bind

I've forgiven Brick a lot over the years. I have managed to overcome even the things that are unforgivable. This has sometimes lead people who know our history to presume that I am a forgiving person. I'm not.

There are ties that bind: family, history, children. When your life is interwoven with anothers, you forgive a lot. When the only thing tying you to another person is affection and a common interest, cutting loose is much easier.

Of Course She Isn't!

Keira Knightley denies she's anorexic

Cute Overload of the Day

PostSecret of the Week

Wish I Had a 14-Year-Old

Because then I could be a lousy parent, not supervise my child, not pay attention to what they're doing, and, when the inevitable disaster occurs, I can sue someone else! Parental Pimping at it's finest!

If it is too inconvenient for you to walk down the hallway and find out what your kid is up to, how is My Space supposed to accomplish it?

The Lies Our Kids Tell Us

"I'm just gonna go on this little vacation and I'll be back before you know it."

Message left by PFC Thomas Tucker to his parents. PFC Tucker was captured and tortured to death by insurgents in Iraq.

Dinner at Your House

Time took an excellent look at Americans and food a few weeks ago. And then I see this Letter to the Editor in response:

"Your series of articles on eating smart made a good case for healthful home-cooked fods. What it didn't address was the downside: someone has to actually cook those healthy foods. Cooking is tedious, repetitive, and time-consuming. The last thing I want to do when I come home from a long day at work, tired and hungry, is wash, chop, and prepare vegetables. And lest anyone blame my attitude on not being a stay-at-home mother, I don't like cooking on the weekends either."

Why is she the person doing the cooking? If being a stay-at-home mother is an option, I'm assuming there is another parent so why aren't they cooking? There are kids, why aren't they cooking?

The person doing the cooking needs to be the one who enjoys it. For a lot of us, cooking is a fun adventure and things like washing, chopping, and preparing vegetables can be a way to calm down and destress after a long day. It can also be a fabulous way to spend time with your children.

A person who enjoys food and cooking realizes that there are tons of convenience foods available at the grocery now: pre-shredded carrots, chopped veggies, pre-mixed salad, pre-cut fruit. A healthy, colorful, flavorful meal really can be made in 5 minutes.

Why is the one with the whohaa in charge of meals even if they have no affinity for it? If someone doesn't enjoy cooking, their meals are going to be tasteless, joyless affairs that I just as soon skip. There are few cooks worse than one who is a martyr to the demanding stomachs around them.

Even if the woman is from a family where every single member hates cooking, why is she the one who is always doing it? Split it up. Give each kid a night where they are in charge within guidelines. Have the husband be responsible for dinner a couple of nights a week. Do it all together.

Or maybe it's easier to be a victim than to try to fix the situation.

Meerkat Manor

The real fun is watching the dog watch.

The Feud's Back On!

Oh, Please!

Jen's shocked as Angelina flaunts her new family.

I'm hoping this is tabloid hype because if Jennifer Aniston is so meMeME as she as portrayed in a recent edition of In Touch, she needs serious help.

Timing the announcement of the pregnancy as a slap at Jen? How about: Had made a committment to go to Haiti, there were going to be cameras there, and it couldn't really be hidden anymore?

Timing the birth as a slap against Jen? How about: Babies come when they're ready?

Selling the pictures and going on Anderson Cooper a slap against Jen? They were done to get money and attention for refuges and poor children (and to get the papparazi to back off).

If this is a PR effort Team Aniston, it does not flatter their client.

He Shoots. He Scores

Minnesota Timberwolves NBA star Eddie Griffin crashed his luxury SUV into a car while drunk and masturbating. Griffin told onlookers he was wanking while watching porn on a DVD player mounted on the dashboard of his Escalade.

Parity NOW!

Union President Jim Daws said he'll start encouraging Atlanta firefighters to quit.

"I'm going to start advertising all the better firefighting opportunities that are available nationwide to our members and there are greener pastures elsewhere for firefighters too," Daws said.

Just before the vote, Atlanta residents and firefighters told the Council that firefighters simply deserve the same payraises as police officers.

No, they don't.

I like firemen. I don't have anything against them when they aren't being whiny bitches and saying stupid things at City Council meetings. They do a valuable job and are important to the communities they serve.

Their job is not comparable to police officers. The hours are different. The calls are different. The culture is different. They may both be under the 'Public Safety' umbrella but claiming that not receiving the same pay as a police officer is an insult and that they are therefore being victimized by the big, bad Mayor, is a bogus argument.

Firemen, traditionally, work 24 hours/have 48 hours off. They stay at the firehouse for their 24 hours. If there are calls, they answer them. They conduct themselves bravely and professionally. But they are not working nonstop for that 24 hour period. If there are no calls, they don't go anywhere. They sleep. They eat. They watch TV. They call their girlfriends. They work out (there's a reason firefighters have hot bods and cops look like Weebles).

Cops, traditionally, work shifts that run from 8-12 hours. They have to come in early for roll call. They leave late because of paperwork. There damn well better be no sleeping. They frequently don't get a chance to eat. They do manage to call their girlfriends. If there are no calls, they are expected to go out and find something to do. Firefighters can't scare up a fire the way a police officer can make an unexpected DUI arrest. Okay, they could, but there's law against that sort of thing.

I try to meet Brick for supper a couple of times a week because that way I know he'll eat before midnight. While he's on his meal 'break' the radio is going constantly, and he's having to monitor everything that his shift is up to. His department cell rings at least three times in a 30 minute break. He has had to leave to respond to a call during his meal more than once.

There is a difference between constant work and a long shift with potential work. There just is.

Now I could be a whiny bitch and go to the City Council and claim 'The police are being disrespected! They don't have beds! They don't have group meals! They don't get cookbooks! That's not fair! The Mayor's mean! Y'all don't like us as much as you like the firemen!'

Or, I could accept that life ain't fair, the job is what it is, it's the life that is chosen, no one drafted anyone and made them become a public safety employee, no one is forcing them to remain a public safety employee, there are positives and negatives to everything.

New Rule

When you're over 50 and overweight, "Sexual Healing" should not be your Ringtone choice.

How You Gonna Keep Them in the Big Woods..

after they've seen Paree?

Did I just see a news story with a picture of the same bear in a swimming pool?

Hmmm

"I'm off like a prom dress."

I like that.

Eight Pages?!

How can there be eight pages of Emmy nominations?

Highlights (lowlights?):

The 'Trapped in the Closet' episode of South Park for animated program

A bunch of Art Direction categories. I'm starting to see how there can be eight pages.

Three Casting categories?

Choreography: Dancing with the Stars...pick your episode

On the second page of editing and hairstyling nominations, I understand why all winners are not televised.

At least Jaime Pressly was nominated for What About Earl

Kyra Sedgewick and Dennis Leary are recognized

Sandra Oh and Chandra Wilson for Grey's Anatomy

Kyle Chandler for guesting on Grey's Anatomy. Pink Mist doesn't stand a chance against Michael J. Fox but it's nice that he was nominated. Also Christina Ricci.

Craig Freguson...that's cool!

Writing noms for Grey's.

Holiday Report

The Holiday Report so far: 1 mass fight at the Welcome Center, 3 in the neighborhoods, and 4 at the City Park...add to all the family fistfights of the day (the highlight of those being the 9 months pregnant woman and her sister trying to beat each other to death over the issue of who was a better parent) and you have a typical July 4th.

Life Lessons of the Day

Never look in a full length mirror in a dressing room when you haven't taken your water pill in over a week.

Never leave home on the Fourth of July figuring you'll grab a bite to eat while you're out.

Julie Roberts should be the required soundtrack for a breakup.

There Are Two Kinds of People

Jessep: You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

There are many ways that the world can be divided into two kinds of people. The Nicholson speech from A Few Good Men is one of those ways. People either think his character is a monster and that nice Tom Cruise is a hero or they view Jessup as the hero and that punk Tommy Cruise as a pompous twit.

When discussing things like banking surveilance and wiretaps, I often remember this speech and how it illustrates that the two sides will never agree. Jessup is either telling the truth and is doing something necessary or he's a power mad egomaniac. There's not much in-between.

I Have a Pill for That

While looking for a cute, cartoony stomach pic to discuss why I'm up eating crackers and 7Up at 5 AM, I google 'sour stomach' and get pages of medical remedies. Why take drugs when crackers and soda work just as well (better?), are cheaper, have neglible side effects, and are almost always available?

Lasting Results?

Within the last couple of days I've seen recent pictures of Chastity Bono and Countess Vaughan, both alums of the Celebrity Fit Club experience. Chastity looked the same or maybe bigger than when she started and Countess never lost any when she was on the show and doesn't appear to have lost any since.

Makes me want to rush out and buy the Harvey workout DVD.

And Speaking of Planes...

I don't care how bad it is. I don't care that it will probably set back my return to air travel by a decade. I am so going to see this movie!

Speaking of Kleenex...

I have yet to make it through the trailer for this movie without crying. At least it isn't being marketed as a feelgood comedy.

I usually hate Oliver Stone movies. It's always seemed as if the only way he knows how to portray women is as bitches and whores. But this one I want to see. I don't know why I'm so positive about this movie and I was so negative about the plane movie. Maybe it's because it's a small group of cops.

Not Funny!

It's not that it was a bad movie. I enjoyed the movie. It's just that either I've lost my sense of humor or movies keep getting marketed as comedies and they really aren't.

There are funny moments and funny things in Click, as in life, but it's a tragedy. A man loses his life even as he lives it because he learns to late what's important and by the time he learns, the damage has been done and there's no going back and there's no stopping it. I'm at a 'comedy' and I'm sobbing.

It was the same with The Break Up. It was comedic, it was not a comedy. And The Devil Wears Prada was a comedic coming of age story, not a comedy.

I don't have a problem with any of the movies. I have a problem with the marketing decisions. It's reminiscent of the Brokeback Mountain ads that featured the men and their wives and left out that little passionate same sex love affair thing.

I don't want to know everything about a movie before I go. I would like to know if I need to bring Kleenex.

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