Score one for the WIFE

Husband cheats on wife with a coworker. Wife calls her husband's employer, speaks to his supervisors, and threatens legal action unless they handle the situation to her liking (transfer the other woman).

She is amazed that he can't decide between her and the other woman and doesn't understand why he won't go into counseling with her.

For her it's all about power, control, punishment, and not being made a fool of. She has drug his career and their children into the middle of it and used them as weapons to punish her husband.

And she feels completely justified. Like she has accomplished something to be proud of. Of course she thinks it's a situation where you can keep score. As if there was actually going to be a winner.

Brokeback for Two

Brick has decided he's going to see Brokeback Mountain with me.

I usually don't go to movies twice. I can't remember the last movie I saw in a theater more than once. It was probably back in the pre-VCR days. I have favorite movies that I've seen time-after-time but that's on tape/DVD/cable. The reason I'm going to see this one is that it's playing at a local theater and I near terrorized the poor 19-year-old manager when he told me it wouldn't be playing there. I threw such a fit about how people would attend good, independent films (as opposed to blockbusters) that I feel honor bound to show up and buy a ticket.

So why is Brick going?

Maybe he wants to protect his rep as a liberal heathen. Maybe my descriptions have reassured him that it isn't two hours of male nudity and make-out sessions so it's safe. Maybe it's become such a topic of discussion he doesn't want to miss it. Whatever the reason, I'm glad he's going. Discussing movies with him later is half the fun of going.

The Erotica Equation

I also write erotic stories that are posted online and Merv enjoys reading them. Yesterday he mentions that he hasn't seen any for awhile. I said most of what I'm writing these days wouldn't be appropriate to the site.

Oh? What are you writing? And where is it?

I am so not telling.

There are some things that shouldn't be shared (at least not with anyone that knows you!). If I would ever share it with anyone, it would be him. If we were 'together', I'd have probably told him already.

And why no erotica? Most of it has always been about him and I'm not hopeful enough to write it now. I don't think it will ever work out. I don't think we'll ever be together. I try to write and there's an awareness that I'm writing about things that will never be and how much I miss him and will always miss him and how I have to move on and I dread it and don't want to and I want what I want and I'm not going to get it and that makes me sad.

Sad+dread+lonliness=erotica? Not for me.

Hurricane Zelda

is home for a couple of days.

Its nice to hear about her latest boyfriend, work, friends, see her face, hear her chatter, just spend time. It's good to hear her and Brick talk in the next room, to know I'll be spending the day with her tomorrow.

Medical Malcompetence

I actually like my HMO. It's never given me too many problems, given me waivers for extra services, been easy to deal with, let's me pick my own doctors from a wide pool of choices.

That's where there's a problem.

In the last few months our Primary Care Physician has: messed up Brick's perscriptions several times, left Zelda in the waiting room bleeding and needing stitches for a couple of hours, made Brick wait so long for a scheduled appointment that he had to leave or he was going to miss work (3 hours after his scheduled appointment time), misdiagnosed my kidney stone after a cursory examination, and today told me it was too much trouble to take a message concerning a referral, call back another day.

There has to be another practice in our area that our plan covers and we're switching to it.

And the wind said....

I like Terrence Malick movies. I admire that he does things his own way. That he's distinctive.

But The New World is just way too long.

I can deal with the wind, water, and wheat having more 'lines' than the humans but does there really need to be 150 minutes of it?

It's beautiful, visually stunning, best seen on a big screen but there needs to be a nap break. Maybe at the point between the two Johns?

I'm not trying to whitewash my behavior, Christ, no! Brick, I'm not good. I don't know why people have to pretend to be good, nobody's good...But I'm honest. Give me credit for just that, will you please?

T. Williams

The Need for Grand Gestures

Maybe it's just me but I'm starting to think that most men have never been clued in on the importance of the Grand Gesture. Those ain't no mountain high enough-radar love moments that illustrate the depth of a man's feelings.

If they only missed the opportunities where their women were concerned I'd say they just didn't care very much. That if they mattered the guy would make the Grand Gesture. I tend to take things personally like that. But then the Grand Gesture moment comes in their daughters' lives, daughters that I know they adore like I know that I'm breathing, and it still doesn't occur to them.

When Merv's girl had bad news this week my immediate reaction was 'So when are you going to see her?' and it was obvious that it hadn't even occurred to him. There are times when a Daddy needs to get in the car or hop on a plane and travel 500 miles and take his daughter to lunch, look her in the eyes and say "I love you no matter what.' If there was any question in her mind whether she could depend on him, the 500-mile trip answered it.

There are crucial moments in each person's life. Moments where everything changes. Where the decision you make effects everything that comes after. If someone you love is facing one of those, you don't let them face it alone, you don't stay quiet because you don't know what to say, and you don't figure you can take care of it later. Sometimes you have one shot. Sometimes there is no later.

The water wasn't bad enough?

The body of a man was found by a Georgia Power worker in a reservoir at the Morgan Falls dam. He is believed to be a man reported missing a week ago.

Do I need to buy more bottled water while I'm out?

Steve and Vikki?!

Of all the morning radio hosts in Atlanta they don't come much milder than Steve and Vikki. Describing them as 'hostile' is like calling Paul Harvey a 'shock jock'. Well, ok, the 'rest of the story' can be rather surprising at times but still.

Maybe Star saw the numbers on her book sales?

"Star loves Atlanta"

Star Jones explodes during Star 94 interview

By RICHARD L. ELDREDGE
Published on: 01/19/2006

It was the dial tone heard 'round the city on this morning. "The View" co-host and fledgling self-help author Star Jones Reynolds exploded during a phone interview with a local morning show, dissed their disrespectful, inappropriate lines of questioning and hung up.

So was it V103's Wanda Smith, 96rock's Regular Guys or Q100's Jeff Dauler on the other end?

None of the above.

The interviewers in question were Star 94's Steve McCoy and Vikki Locke, who, in the past, have gleaned fun interviews from the prickly likes of Madonna, Cher and even Kevin Costner when he was out plugging his ill-fated "Waterworld."

The Q&A went into free fall when McCoy asked Jones about the ongoing rumor that she had her alleged gastric bypass surgery at a hospital in Atlanta, a clearly emotional Jones questioned the duo's ethics, informed the pair "I don't discuss gossip!" and promptly left the airwaves.

Jones is making the media rounds, promoting her new book "Shine: A Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Journey to Finding Love" (HarperCollins, $24.95). The book frankly explores how Jones' "obesity precluded her from crossing her legs" and meeting, romancing and marrying her husband Al Reynolds.

However, Jones' handlers are making it clear that she does not want to address how she happened to lose 150 pounds in a little over a year.

"We offered her the opportunity to set the record straight and she just hung up on us," Locke told Buzz Thursday.

McCoy and Locke had a treat awaiting them in their e-mail "in" boxes when they got off the air as well. Eileen Sullivan, the Launch Radio Networks rep. who booked Jones on Star 94 e-mailed McCoy the following loaded missive: "I don't even want to discuss the Star Jones interview. . .When I got her back on the line after your interview, she turned on me. . .Apparently, I didn't drop the line fast enough and I put her in a terrible position by putting her on with a 'hostile station' (her words)."

Sullivan then requested an apology.

This afternoon, she was still waiting.

"They just asked her something that upset her and she decided to end the interview," Sullivan told Buzz from her office in New York. "I don't want to get much more specific than that."

A note for any lingering Jones admirers: The author had earlier postponed her planned Jan. 29 book-signing here. HarperCollins reps. told Buzz today that the date, the only appearance on the tour that has thus far been scotched, will be rescheduled. "It was just a scheduling issue," we were told. "Star loves Atlanta."

Clearly.

The Window to a Person's Soul...

...has become the refrigerator door.

If you look at a person's fridge you find out who they are. Why go snooping through medicine cabinets like the old days? (do people still have medicine cabinets?!) No need to go through drawers and hidden spaces. It's all in the open for anyone to see. You just have to know how to read it.

My fridge loudly proclaims I'm a smart assed white girl. I have dozens of magnets that tell you that. I dream of trains, and faraway places. I like pigs and chili peppers. I read Opus. Look inside and you'll see that healthy is not high on my list. I don't do 'low-fat' or 'low carb' and I don't do Velveeta. I have a freezer full of sweet things, just in case, and a wide variety of sodas, diet and not, because I want what I want when I want it and I want it cold. So we can add self-indulgent and impatient to the list. Adding to the impatient column, there are no things that have passed their expiration date. With most things, when they're done I walk away.

It's not just me. What does a fridge covered in multicolored plastic letters, drawings, and school papers say? A spotless fridge? One that has nothing but beer and take out from a month ago inside?

Except for the spotless and empty types, I doubt any two fridges are exactly the same. Sort of like fingerprints. The trick is in knowng what they say.

While the love of another may have priority in your heart, the duty to family and nation cannot be compromised for emotions—however tragic the outcome.

Oooh Baby, Baby

It seems as if everyone I know is getting bad news these days.

Merv was looking forward to being a Grandfather again. When people know there's a new baby coming they start imagining what that child will be. Will he be like his brother? Just as smart? Just as cute? As much of a joy?

And then test results come back and you find out that nothing you've imagined is going to happen and you mourn the death of the child you dreamed. The one that will never be.

When it's not your child you think 'I wouldn't keep that baby!' You might fancy it up a little, tell yourself you don't want to put a child through the difficulties that life would inevitably bring, but the truth is you can't imagine the pain, the struggle, the next seventy years of raising a child that will never grow up completely, that will always need you to watch over them.

When it is your baby, it's different. You already love it. And things that seemed so simple aren't anymore. The thing about 'choice'? All the 'choices' suck. The other thing about choice? You lose the comforting fallacy that it's all 'God's will'. Every problem that child will face in life happens because of your will. You had the opportunity to make things different and chose not too.

So what do you do? You probably pray, a lot. You pray for guidance, understanding, acceptance, wisdom.

And Grandparents? How do you stand by as your children face the most difficult challenges you can imagine and you know you can't 'fix' it for them? How do you ever learn how to do that?

Partner's Death Ends Happy Life on Ranch

By Jessie Torrisi
Columbia News Service

On the face of it, Sam Beaumont, 61, with his cowboy hat, deep-throated chuckle and Northwestern drawl, is not so different from the ranch hands in Ang Lee's critically acclaimed film "Brokeback Mountain," which opened in Indianapolis on Wednesday.


More "Romeo & Juliet" than "Rent," "Brokeback Mountain" challenges modern perceptions of what it means to be gay in rural America.

"Listen," the character Twist says to del Mar as part of a dream that goes unrealized. "I'm thinking, tell you what, if you and me had a little ranch together -- little cow and calf operation, your horses -- it'd be some sweet life."

That pretty much describes the life Beaumont had. He settled down with Earl Meadows and tended 50 head of cattle for a quarter-century on an Oklahoma ranch. "I was raised to be independent. I didn't really care what other people thought," Beaumont said.

In 1977, Beaumont was divorced and raising three sons after a dozen years in the Air Force when Meadows walked up to him near the Arkansas River.

"It was a pretty day -- January 15th, 65 degrees," Beaumont said. "He came up, we got to talkin' till 2 in the morning. I don't even remember what we said." But "I knew it was something special."

Beaumont moved to be with Meadows in his partner's hometown of Bristow, Okla., a place of 4,300 people. Together, they bought a ranch and raised Beaumont's three sons. The mortgage and most of the couple's possessions were put in Meadows' name.

"I had two dads"

During the day, Meadows worked as a comptroller for Black & Decker. He'd drop the boys at school on his way to work. At home, Beaumont took care of the ranch, feeding and tagging cattle, cooking and cleaning, and once built a barn.

"As far as I was concerned, I had two dads," said one of Beaumont's sons, now 33, who requested anonymity. He was 2 years old when Meadows joined the family.

"Dad helped with schoolwork and all the stuff around the house, taught me to ride horses and milk cows. Earl used to take me to the company picnics and Christmas parties. He bought me my first car."

Most of their friends, Beaumont said, were straight couples, women who worked at Black & Decker, "teachers and doctors and lawyers," and childhood friends of Meadows who often came to dinner at the ranch.

"People treated them fine," said Eunice Lawson, who runs a grocery store in Bristow.

But in 1999, Meadows had a stroke and Beaumont took care of him for a year until he died at age 56.

That's where the fantasy of a life together on the range collides with reality. After a quarter-century on the ranch he shared with his partner, Beaumont lost it all on a legal technicality in a state that doesn't recognize domestic partnerships.

Meadows' will, which left everything to Beaumont, was fought in court by a cousin of the deceased and was declared invalid by the Oklahoma Court of Appeals in 2003 because it was short one witness signature.

Unequal under the law

A judge ruled the rancher had to put the property, which was appraised at $100,000, on the market. The animals were sold. Beaumont had to move.

Because Meadows had no biological children or surviving parents, his estate was divided up among his heirs. When the ranch sells, the proceeds are to be divided among dozens of Meadows' cousins.

"They took the estate away from me," said Beaumont, who said he put about $200,000 of his own money into the ranch. "Everything that had Earl's name on it, they took. They took it all and didn't bat an eye."

Every state has common-law marriage rules that protect heterosexual couples. If someone dies without a will, or with a faulty one, his or her live-in partner is treated as the rightful inheritor.
But only seven states currently give gay couples protections -- such as inheritance rights and health benefits -- through marriage, civil unions and domestic partnerships. What's more, Oklahoma last year amended its state constitution to ensure that neither marriage nor any similar arrangement is extended to same-sex couples.

Today, there are roughly 90,000 gay couples living in small-town America, according to the 2000 U.S. Census, and more than 5,700 in Oklahoma.

Last year, Beaumont moved to nearby Wewoka, Okla., to a one-bedroom place with 350 acres for his horses, white Pyrenees and Great Dane to roam. He said he was continuing to fight the cousins, who are suing for back rent for the years he lived on the ranch.

Copyright 2006 IndyStar.com. All rights reserved

No Regrets

I know your leaving's too long overdue

For far too long I've had nothing new to show to you

Goodbye dry eyes

I watched your plane fade off west of the moon

And it felt so strange to walk away alone

No regrets

No tears goodbye

Don't want you back

We'd only cry again

Say goodbye again

The hours that were yours

Echo like empty rooms

The thoughts we used to share

I now keep alone

I woke last night and spoke to you

Not thinking you were gone

It felt so strange to lie awake alone

Our friends have tried

To turn my nights into day

Strange faces in your place

Can't keep the ghosts away

Just beyond the darkest hour

Just behind the door

It still feels so strange to lead my life alone

Oh no regrets

No tears goodbye

Don't want you back

We'd only cry again

Say goodbye again

(Can't find the lyrics author)

Brokeback Mountain

I tried to think of a smart-assed title but I'm just not up to it.

I almost wish I had waited for the DVD. It was beautiful on the big screen but when it was over I just wanted to curl up and sob for awhile not deal with Zelda, everyone else in the theater, going to supper, getting home.

For twenty years Jack Twist loves Ennis Del Mar and you can see it every time he looks at him. And Ennis loves Jack. But not enough. And for twenty years Jack waits for him, yearns for him, wants him, hopes things will change, goes to him, makes the effort, and it never works out.

You can blame it on the times but other men managed to build lives together then. You can blame it on the place but other couples managed to be together in places like that. They had to be discreet but it was done, and there were other places.

The only thing that kept them apart was that Ennis was not willing for them to be together.

The Racism of Condescension

Dancing With the Stars is back and this season's hot topic is Master P. Reactions to him have been illuminating. Surprise that he is a black man with no rhythym shows a lack of tact and ability to choose words wisely in company. I think it also shows an ignorance of black people. If the only ones you've ever seen are entertainers on television you don't have enough experience to realize there are all kinds. Just like everyone else.

At the other extreme are the people who go to ridiculous lengths to make excuses for Master P's lack of grace, skill, or manners. Numerous mentions are made of his underprivedged background and his struggle to rise above it. That he is making little or no effort is ignored, excused, and explained away. It all smacks of 'Poor thing. He's doing the best he can. He's just not capable of anything better. And isn't that Jerry Rice wonderful?'

Why are these two mentioned in tandem? Could it be because they're the only two black men on the show? The only black people? I don't notice anyone lumping Master P and Drew Lachey together because they're both in the music industry. Ok, maybe that's because most people aren't exactly sure what Drew Lachey does.

With ballroom dancing, like life, there are rules and standards. If you aren't good enough you shouldn't win. You shouldn't get the slot at college, at medical school, the passing grade, the government contract. And people shouldn't just keep you around because they aren't brave enough to judge you by the same standard they use on everyone else.

Letting go of the Baby

Merv finally had a serious conversation with his youngest. It only took six years to get there (noticing a pattern...).

The boy has been rebelling for six years and Merv has done his best to keep him on track; sacrificed too much, gave too much, believed too many excuses, and didn't give him enough freedom to fail without Daddy being there to pick him up, fix it, rescue him.

How do you let go when you know they aren't ready? When you know they're going to get hurt? When you're almost positive they will fail? I guess you do it when you realize you're doing more harm by not doing so.

Will Merv stand by his resolve and let go? For both their sakes, I sure hope so.

But they try, Part Deux

What is the lesson in the story of the pregnant woman in the HOV lane? That people will say and do anything to get out of a ticket? That this is an outlandish method to try to get legal status for a fetus? That this is the kind of woman who will let her son run amok in planes, theaters, and coffee shops with no regard for the rights of anyone around her and a sense of entitlement that assures her that everyone else should enjoy her Little Darling's antics or there is something wrong with THEM?

Probably all of the above.

But they try. Oh, how they try.

Driver ticketed in carpool lane cites fetus as passenger

Sarah Muench and Geri Koeppel
The Arizona Republic
Dec. 14, 2005 01:55 PM

A pregnant Ahwatukee Foothills woman ticketed for driving in a carpool lane will take her case to court in January, when she'll argue that her unborn child counts as a passenger.

Candace Dickinson, 23, hopes to overturn her penalty and prove her point that even though her child was still in the womb while she was driving on Interstate 10 on Nov. 8 in Ahwatukee Foothills, it still counted as a second person.

Frank Valenzuela, spokesman for the Arizona Department of Public Safety, said a vehicle can't occupy the high-occupancy vehicle lane unless two or more persons are in it. The statute doesn't define what a "person" is.

"However, I think we could all agree that for traffic enforcement, a person is another individual, not an unborn child," he added. "I'm sure she's not claming the child as a dependent on her taxes."

Valenzuela said it's not unheard of for women to use this argument to try to use the carpool lane, but it's very rare."The dummy in the car is more common than this," he said.

Dickinson could not be reached for comment.The officer who cited her, Sgt. Dave Norton of the Phoenix Police Department, will also appear in court to argue against her.

Dickinson's court date is scheduled for 1:15 p.m. Jan. 10 in Phoenix Municipal Court downtown. She faces $390 in fines.

Big, Brave Senator!!

Y'all made the Judge's wife cry. You must be so proud.

Could y'all put what's best for the country in front of your egos for just a little bit? Maybe study up on the role of the Judiciary in the Federal government a little? Since you're on the Judiciary Committee and all. It might come in handy. Occasionally.

Who IS this Guy?!!!

I have no idea who I'm married to.

After 25+ years, it slips out that his IQ is over 170. You'd think I'd know this by now. Then I remember I never knew he was an Eagle Scout until a couple of years ago.

I met him as an adult and he doesn't talk about himself much. He talks about work, politics, religion, current events but not the past. Not his past. I have no idea who his first girlfriend, first love, other sex partners were. I know where he grew up. I know that he's always liked cars. I've heard some of his wild oat military stories. But, other than a few scattered pieces of information, it's like his life started the day we met. And in 25+ years there hasn't been a lot of discussion of thoughts, hopes, wishes, dreams. What I've learned in all these years has been from observation.

Those women who find out they're married to a serial killer on the lam and they never knew? It wouldn't shock me except that we were so young when we got married. I wonder if other guys are like this or if this is 'normal' to me because I've spent my entire adult life with him.

Pretty Baby

The frenzy to get pictures of Brad Pitt and Anjelina Jolie's baby is going to be record setting. They may want to make a deal to sell that first picture now, donate the money to the charity of their choice, and save themselves the headache.

Dreaming of You

I had a dream that Merv was coming to stay at my house. I told Brick we were going to have company, rushed around getting ready, anxiously awaited his arrival and Brick's reactions, became increasingly frustrated as 'real life' frustrated my plans, felt bad that I was running late and was going to let him down, and then the phone rang.

He wasn't coming. Real life had intruded.

Guess He Showed Him

Discarded Mouse Returns to Set Home Ablaze

FORT SUMNER, N.M. (Jan. 8) - A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature returned to the man's house and set it on fire.

Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.

"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," Mares said from a motel room Saturday.

Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window of the nearby home. The flames spread up the window and throughout the house.

All contents of the home were destroyed, he said. No injuries were reported.

Unseasonably dry and windy conditions have charred more than 53,000 acres and destroyed 10 homes in southeastern New Mexico in recent weeks.

"I've seen numerous house fires," village Fire Department Capt. Jim Lyssy said, "but nothing as unique as this one."

Going to the Mountain

Today I called all the local theaters to see when Brokeback Mountain was going to play there.

It isn't.

I even spoke to one theater's manager. He was very polite. He had no idea what a per screen return was. He was proud to tell me that they will be getting 90% of the Blockbusters but they just didn't do Indies. In fact, the people who determine what movies play in this town in Georgia are in Texas.

Unless something breaks loose soon Zelda and I are going to have to travel into the city to see the movie. We'll make a good day of it. Do some shopping, get a bite to eat, enjoy the movie. But we shouldn't have to make any kind of 'day' out of it. The movie should be available locally.

How foolish she has been to risk everything for a man who is willing to risk absolutely nothing for her.

I like being a voice quacking in the void.

Sometimes you have to learn how to open your mouth for more than just giving head.

Couldn't, wouldn't, mustn't, shouldn't - these are the laments of the spineless.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day. And another, in case it doesn't rain. -- Mae West

Just saying no prevents teenage pregnancy the way 'Have a nice day' cures chronic depression. -- Faye Wattleton

The popular notion about marriage and love is that they are synonymous, that they spring from the same motives, and cover the same human needs. Like most popular notions this also rest not on actual facts, but on superstition....On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable. -- Emma Goldman

Poor Mischa

Every woman has had an unfortunate accident. Either you mistime something or you think your flow isn't as heavy as it is. It happens to every single one of us.

Fortunately for us we aren't followed around by a pack of jackal papparazzi so when we make that mad dash back to get clean clothes it's not photographed and put all over the Internet. We have the blessing of privacy.

It's hard enough being a young girl. Give her a break.

Camp!!!!

What a great movie!

Ok, it was a great movie for someone who loves Broadway musicals, would recognize a photo of Stephen Sondheim, and has a wide enough knowledge base to get alusions to numerous plays. For me it was incredible but I imagine it would be enjoyable for a lot of people even without that.

One thing reviews miss is the individuality of the moviegoing experience. I enjoyed The Producers but would someone who didn't like musicals? Broadway? Nathan Lane? Probably not.

Maybe we all need to stop following reviews and start following our own preferences? Someone can make the best Horror film ever made and I won't like it. Just don't like Horror movies. Can tolerate a few Sci-Fis, maybe five in all the years I've gone to the movies.

Sure a horrible movie is pretty universal but what makes a movie 'good' is a lot harder to nail down.

Reading Comprehension

I can still be stunned by the things people say. Maybe it's because I tend towards sarcasm but I find myself asking 'Ok, they're kidding, right? No one can be that stupid!'

Evidently they can.

Recently I told someone I thought they were overreacting. That was interpreted as thinking what had happened was just peachy. Never said that. Never said the person they were upset with was right. Never defended what that person did. Just said it wasn't the end of the world.

I always think people who act that way are being disingenuous.

Let's Call the Whole Thing Off

A couple we know is getting divorced after a year and a half of marriage. Not really any bad guys in the situation. She couldn't adjust to being a cop wife. But Brick has a need to make her the Bitch.

I think we're both using them to talk about us. I say "Well, at least they're getting out early before they have kids." and "I'd rather you tell me if you want out instead of being miserable for twenty or thirty years and sticking it out cause you think you have to." and he's very "That fucking bitch, after all he's done for her." conveniently forgetting any and every thing she's done for him (and that it's the guy who asked for the divorce).

Meanwhile, Big Mama's last lecture on the sanctity of marriage is still rattling around my brain (It doesn't matter if you're miserable. Think of the health insurance.).

Idiot on Parade

After pondering on why people live in the places they do I happened across a woman I know who is talking about her husband getting transferred and where she will and will not follow. With her it had nothing to do with climate or past experiences but was about what she thought the place she had never visited was going to be like, specifically that the people there were ignorant, ill educated rubes that she didn't want to associate with. For her it is better to have your children 3000 miles away from their father for three years than to have to live in the festering cesspool that is North Carolina.

I'm not the PR person for North Carolina and, after a long acquaintaince with this woman, I certainly wouldn't attempt to change her mind. North Carolina would be better off without her ever darkening the state line. She would not be an asset.

In fact, looking back on her previous escapades, I would not be surprised if she's not laying the groundwork for a cover story. Maybe her going along is not an option her husband is giving her? And that is something she will never admit willingly.

Slow News Day?

Guy falls in Jackson County...it's the story on all three cable news networks.

Weren't at least 79 people killed by car bombs in Iraq this morning? At least five American troops were killed? A building collapsed in Saudi? A Prime Minister is in the process of dying?

But hey, we can get footage of a guy getting rescued out of a water tower and lord knows we need a rescue where someone's going to actually live!!! All live, most of the time (excluding pre-recorded segments, tax and license may vary, this was done by professional drivers on a closed course...)

Birds and Fishes

One of the great things about the Internet is how it allows people to connect that would have never met. A common interest can get people talking and next thing you know you have friends in California, Texas, Illinois, Florida, remote mountain peaks in Idaho, and countries around the globe.

But what if you fall in love with one another?

I have come to understand that most people make choices, concious or otherwise, about where they want to be. Things like job opportunities factor into it but not that much. There are some careers that could only be followed in New York City. Since living there is my idea of hell on earth becoming a Broadway actress was never a goal.

Some people love snow, others see a couple of inches every decade or so they've seen plenty. Some people love the ocean, others see the inevitable hurricaine evacuation. Some people love Appalachia and others love the wide open spaces of the west.

Geography, climate, culture are all special about the places we choose to be. So what happens when a person who loves snowboarding, ice fishing, windswept prairies, and recognizes the differences between Finns, Swedes, and Danes falls in love with someone who loves balmy southern nights, fatback, mountains, and can explain the difference between second cousins and cousins twice removed? Do they compromise and find something they can both tolerate? Do they both give up something they love for someone they love? Does one give in and move to someplace they hate because it's the practical decision?

And then there are the people. The older you get the more people you have that would be left behind. At first you would have to leave friends. Later on you have issues like grown children and aging parents. Who gets left behind?

It's great that the Internet helps you meet people you would have never known but it opens up new problems.

Ten Things I Hate About You

Rules: say what you really think about someone without using any names. Hmmm....

1. You always take the easy way out.
2. You use people.
3. You let yourself be used.
4. You're lazy.
5. You let fear rule your life.
6. You aren't as cute as you like to think you are.
7. You are completely honest with no one.
8. You live in a fantasy world.
9. You aren't capable of taking care of yourself.
10. When you die your life will be the same way it is right now.

You're Beautiful

James Blunt

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

False Hopes

Even though all signs pointed to it being a false hope, my New Year's wish was for a better year than the last. Personally, 2005 wasn't that bad but it was bad for friends, family, and the world in general.

In the first five days we've had 5 tornadoes in Georgia; wildfires all over Texas, Oklahoma, and New Mexico; flooding in California; and the waiting and false hope that the families of those miners have had to go through. Looming on the horizon; the Housing Bubble; the increase in credit card payments; the impact of the change in bankruptcy laws; instability in the inflation rate and the cost of gas and utilities; and, as always, Iraq and the anxiety of what's going to get blown up next.

Can we have a do-over?

Just Plain Lazy

So it's my first day back that I'm alone. I know I should be bustling around, accomplishing things and being productive, but all I want to do is have some fun, hang around, be lazy, don't get dressed, don't go to town, don't meet anyone's expectations, not even my own. I know I can't keep this up all day but I'm going to make it last as long as possible.

The List

I started the movie season with a long list of movies that I wanted to see. Some were 'Must Sees' and some were 'Maybes', depending on reviews and viewer reactions. I also decided I was going to keep track of my own ratings based on how much I enjoyed them. I looked at the list yesterday and what a disappointment.

I realized most of my 'Must Sees' haven't played anywhere close enough to go see them: The Squid and the Whale, Capote, Brokeback Mountain, and Good Night, and Good Luck. I'm still hoping for a chance to see Brokeback Mountain but the others will probably have to wait for DVD. I was able to see Syriana and that was the movie I liked the most. Jarhead and Walk the Line were okay.

Loved King Kong even though it was a 'Maybe'. Other 'Maybes' were okay; The Producers, North Country, and Ice Harvest. Some were only good for a Saturday night with nothing else to do; Chicken Little, The Family Stone, and Yours, Mine, and Ours. Derailed was a train wreck that is maybe watchable on cable (if Jennifer Anniston really derailed her marriage for a career, as rumor has it, you'd think she'd have picked better movies to do it for).

Decided not to bother with History of Violence, Munich, Pride and Predjudice, and Rent. There's only so much time and if I see everything at the theaters why bother having cable?

Surrounded by Shaunesseys

Just as things reached their nadir this visit, I got to spend a day surrounded by Shaunesseys.

Have you ever known people that make you happier just by being around them? That's the way this family is. They aren't perfect. They have their problems, disagreements, fights, pains, illnesses like all families but they still manage to be fun, pleasant, entertaining, and full of joy and laughter. Even when some of them are ready to kill each other.

I love Big Mama..

no...I probably don't.

One of the reasons I can love/care about/tolerate Big Mama is that she lives 1500 miles away. It's a lot easier dealing with difficult people when you only have to do it for limited amounts of time every once in awhile. Truth is Big Mama is pushy, controlling, and as sensitive as a sledgehammer.

The other day I listened politely as she talked about the importance of maintaining one's established rules when company comes and thought "Aren't you the same woman who decided that Zach and Zelda couldn't watch TV in the mornings until they'd made their beds and eaten breakfast?" Now maybe that was a sound policy to have but it wasn't my policy or Brick's and every day of that visit they were told "Just go along with it. She'll be going home soon."

I want to love her. So, unless I develop a so far undetected source of patience, I'm staying far, far away.